South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralStan Marsh Quotes
Sister Anne: Now, let me explain how Communion works. The priest will give you this round cracker, and he will say, "The Body of Christ," and then you eat it.
Cartman: Jesus was made of crackers?
Sister Anne: No.
Stan: But crackers are his body.
Sister Anne: Yes.
Kenny: What?!
Sister Anne: In the Book of Mark, Jesus distributed bread and said, "eat this, for it is my body."
Cartman: So we won't go to hell as long as we eat crackers.
Sister Anne: Nononono!
Butters: Uh-well, uh-what are we eatin' then?
Sister Anne: The Body of Christ!
Stan: Nonono, I get it. Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn't want us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers, and then told people to eat him.
Sister Anne: No!
Stan: No??
Butters: Huh-I can't whistle if I eat too many crackers.
Sister Anne: Look: all you have to know is that when the priest gives you the cracker, you eat it! Okay?!
Kenny, Stan, Cartman: O-kay.
Randy: You know in a way I think I was even jealous of you being in a boy band. Isn't that stupid?
Stan: Not really. Not any more stupid than some of the other stuff you've done.
Stan: Dad, I like being in a boy band, I think it's interesting.
Randy: Well there's plenty of interesting things you can do. Have you ever tried marijuana?
Stan: Hey Cartman, what does 'fingerbang' mean anyway?
Cartman: I heard it on HBO; it means like, you know, when you pretend to use your finger like a gun or something.
Cartman: Gentleman, thank you for coming. This is the beginning of a great time in our lives. God has finally spoken to me guys, and he has told me how I can make ten million dollars.
Stan: How?
Cartman: Boy band.
Kyle: Boy band?
Cartman: Boy Band.
Stan: I'm not being in any faggy boy band.
Cartman: There's nothing faggy about ten million dollars asshole.
Stan: Dude, we don't have any musical talent.
Cartman: That didn't stop any of the other boy bands, dumbass!
Cartman: Check this out, my mom made us costumes.
Stan: Costumes!
Cartman: Yeah. This one's yours Stan, and this one is Kyle's, this one will cover up Wendy's hooters.
Stan: Hey Cartman, how come your costume has like nose rings and facial hair?
Cartman: Cause I'm like you know, the tough one. Every boy band has to have the one member you know, that's tough.
Kyle: I want to be the tough one.
Cartman: Kyle, you are the sweet one, would you please just cooperate and...
Kyle: I wan't to be the tough one!
Cartman: You can't be the tough one because you're Jewish!
Kyle: Jews are tough!
Cartman: Since when?
Kyle: Since Abraham Fatass!
Kyle: Kenny ate all the mints, dad.
Gerald: Oh, those weren't mints, those were antacid tablets.
Kyle: oh...
Kyle & Stan: KENNY!
(Kenny drinks water then explodes)
Kyle: Cartman doesn't always win. He just gets pissed off and goes home, so we can't debate anymore.
Class: Yeah!
Cartman: Nuh-uh, I'm just a better debater than you guys.
Stan: You don't even know what you're debating about half the time!
Cartman: Yes I do!
Craig: No, you don't!
Cartman: OH YEAH?!! WELL SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GOING HOME!
Kyle: Told you.
Stan: Cartman, could you donate one of your kidneys to Kyle?
Cartman: (About a millisecond after Stan finishes; singing and dancing) No no no no no, no no no no no, no no no no no no no, no no no no no!
Sharon: Hey Stan, I bought you more of that all natural toothpaste.
Stan: You mean that stuff that's taste like ass and doesn't fight cavities?
Sharon: Yup.
Stan: Kyle's gonna die Kenny, (starts crying) Herbal medicine is going to kill my best friend...
Kenny: (mumbled) That's it I'm sick of this bull sh** screw you guys, I'm goin' home!
