The Todd Quotes
Todd: I got a pink doggie for you. But it's not little.
Elliot: If you show me your penis, I am going to take it away from you.
Todd: Cool.
Turk: Since I been wearing that Tabasco 'do-rag, my surgery record's like 23 and 0.
J.D.: Are you counting the boil you lanced yesterday?
Turk: Question: Did he die? Answer: No, he did not. The point is, I gotta stick with whatever's hot. Like last month, it was not wearing any underwear.
J.D.: So why don't you just take off your underwear?
Todd: That's what I keep telling him!
J.D.: Todd knows about the underwear thing?
Turk: No.
Dr. Miller: I'm Dr. Miller. A few quick things: Don't talk while I'm talking, never utter the phrase "It's Miller time", and I don't like the smell of cologne in my operating room. Now, I'd like to take a minute to listen to any questions or comments that any of you might have, and then after this minute I never want to hear from any of you ever, ever, ever again. Anyone?
Turk: Uh...I'm allergic to shellfish...?
Dr. Miller: Any other allergies? No? Great! You, and unibrow, go scrub up.
Camera reveals Todd, sporting a unibrow.
Turk: What?
Todd: My waxer's in the Bahamas.
Turk: Get a new one!
Todd: Gotta grab those.
Dr. Kelso: No!
Staffer: Ugh!
Dr. Kelso: Remember, we look... but we don't touch.
Todd: Okay.
Turk: Agility exercises?
Todd: No. I'm air-fondling Dr. Miller's boobies. Who's with me?
Todd: She just talked to me like I'm an idiot.
Turk: Hot chick, 12 o'clock.
Todd's eyes fly up to the ceiling.
Elliot: Wow.
Turk: I know.
Hot Doc, 3 o'clock!... I mean 5 o'clock!... Over there!
Female Patient: You Know, Doctor, I'm getting a little tired of the sexual innuendo.
Todd: In your end-o.
Carla: Nooooooo, Todd. The term "melons" is just as bad as "sweater meat."
Todd: Well then I am thoroughly confused!
Turk: Why don't you lay off Dr. Miller? And don't say "I'd like to lay on Dr. Miller."
Todd: High-five later for reading my mind!
Turk: You know, I don't think you're stupid, Todd... Even though you're washing your hands with your gloves already on.
Todd: Dammit!
Turk: Todd, let's get off on the right foot.
Dr. Miller: Hey! It might just be 'cause my expectations are low, but you guys did not suck in surgery yesterday.
Todd: Well, as long as your expectations are low, maybe we should have sex!
Turk: Perfect.
Dr. Miller: I'm concerned about you. I think you hold us women responsible for the fact that your mommy didn't pay attention to you, and if you don't get help, you'll eventually start picking up prostitutes and killing them.
Elliot: I've always wanted to say that to him!
Janitor: Okay, look, attention roof-poopers! Setting aside for a moment the fact that I'm gonna make sure that you all live to regret this day, let's keep the magic rolling - let's not tell anyone else that there's a toilet on the roof... There is not a toilet on the roof!
Todd: But you just said there was.
Janitor: No! Yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor... uhh... that means... "God is watching us." You've heard this, "There's a toilet on the roof." Right? People?
Laverne: That's right, ain't nothing up there.
Todd: Cool.
