The Todd Quotes
Todd: Besides, the only reason I'm getting all these great procedures is because nobody's died on me in like three months!
Turk: Listen, man, you never have to apologize for being on a hot-streak. I'm psyched for you! And I wouldn't take those procedures away even if I could. Sir, would you mind giving me the duodenojejunostomy instead of the Todd?
Dr. Lemmon: Am I impressed by your moxie? You bet'cha. Am I going to reward it? Not a chance.
Molly: Hey! Are you Todd?
Todd: Oh, yeah.
Molly: Well, Carla said you're having a barbecue.
Todd: No, but stick around, I'll see if we can get something cooking.
Todd: I'm sorry if I ever demeaned you, Carla. You see, my feelings about women were warped by a very unhealthy relationship with my mother. We made out once.
Molly: That's good, Todd. Keep going.
Todd: Monique! I owe you an apology...
Carla: You fixed the Todd?
Molly: Well, without regular therapy, it'll probably only last...a week?
Dr. Kelso: Last chance Perry, fix this kid. I've paged a surgical consult.
Dr. Cox: Of course you did.
Todd: I hear this guy's got a light bulb up his ass!
Dr. Cox: Are.. are you the surgical consult?
Todd: No. I'm not even working today! I just want to ask him four questions...
Todd: Dude, that pick-up line you gave me for all the Spanish chicks is not working.
Marco: Maybe you're saying it wrong. Let's hear it.
Todd(Translated): I have genital herpes... for you.
Marco: Nope. That's right. Keep trying.
Todd(Translated): Many herpes!... Big! Oh, yeah!
... Turk, Turk, Turk, Turk. I can't talk right now! I'm at your wedding.
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Marco: I knew that jackass would screw this up!
Todd: Did you just dis my friend, Turk?
Marco: What are you gonna do about it, meathead?
Todd: My friend, I am about to make you look very silly!
Todd prepares to hit Marco but Marco gives him a push and he tumbles off the altar
Laverne: Things are starting to heat up.
Dr. Miller: Now this is your big shot, so if you don't want me to throw you out of here, you've gotta get through this whole procedure without making a single sex joke.
Todd: No problem.
Dr. Miller: All right, to really get at this, I think we need to go in from behind.
Cut to...
Dr. Miller: AND STAY OUT!
Todd: Totally worth it!
Turk: Please, man. I'm Christopher Duncan Turk.
Todd: Duncan?
J.D.: His dad loved doughnuts.
Turk: That's not true. Okay, you really need to stop saying that.
Todd: Dude. Why is Hot Doc being so nice to you lately?
Turk: I don't know, but it's about time. I haven't had to work this hard to win someone over since Carla's mom.
Todd: I thought Carla's mom hated you?
Turk: Yeah, but she died, so I'm counting it as a win.
J.D.: She's quite mad, you know. I hope she doesn't rub off on you.
Todd: Oh!... Too easy.
Danni: Wanting what you can't have?
J.D.: Why are you here? Hospitals don't sell cigarettes!
Todd: Man, I'd smoke her!
J.D.: Quiet time Todd.
