Zapp Brannigan Quotes
Fire all weapons and open a hailing frequency for my victory yodel.
Call me cocky, but if there's an alien out there I can't kill, I haven't met him and killed him yet. But I can't go it alone. That's why I'm ordering every available ship to report for duty. Anyone without a ship should secure a weapon and fire wildly into the air.
Zapp: Since this is an emergency, all robots will now have their patriotism circuits activated.
Bender: It is every robot's duty to give his life for the good of humanity. Oh, crap!
We're all from different cultures here. Some of you are white, some of you are black. [He stops by a man and points at him.] You're brown. [He moves on to Bender.] And you're silver. But I don't care if your skin's red or tan or Chinese. You're all going to have to learn to die together.
Zapp: Remember, our mission is simple: Destroy all aliens!
Kif: Um, uh, not me, sir.
Zapp: Oh, yes, right. Nobody destroy Kif... Unless you have to. Oh, ho, ho! The luscious Captain Leela. This is turning into one very sex-ay struggle for the future of the human race!
Leela: Thanks, but I'm not technically human.
Zapp: Right, right. Nobody destroy Leela either.
Zapp: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well-made bed. You will practise until you can make your bed in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm sleeping in it?
Zapp: You won't have time for sleeping, soldier. Not with all the bed-making you'll be doing.
The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. Now, like all great plans, my strategy is so simple an idiot could have devised it.
Lrrr: Give us McNeal!
Zapp: That was McNeal.
Nd-Nd: No, McNeal, the single female lawyer.
Lrrr: She wears miniskirts and is promiscuous.
Zapp: Really?
Zapp: You're a brave robot, son. But when I'm in command every mission's a suicide mission. Which reminds me. Leela, perhaps before we head into battle you'd like to make love to me, in case one of us doesn't come back.
Leela: Maybe we should wait till afterwards, in case neither of us comes back.
Zapp: Here's hoping.
Lrr: Surely you know McNeil. She is an unmarried human female struggling to succeed in a human male's world.
Zapp Brannigan: Maybe that's just her excuse for being incompetent.
Zapp Brannigan: Good work everyone; the mother-ship is destroyed. (Mother-ship emerges from space) What the hell is that thing?
Kif: It appears to be the mother-ship...
Zapp Brannigan: Then what did we just blow up?
Kif: (checks radar) The Hubble Telescope.
(watching the battle) Stop exploding you cowards!
