Peter: Me, go to a PTA meeting? What, are you high?
Lois: Nah, not anymore, I crashed hours ago. By the way, we're out of chips, cookies and Funnybones.

Peter Griffin, Lois Griffin
Family Guy Season 4 Episode 11: "Peter's Got Woods"
Family Guy
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Family Guy Season 4 Episode 11 Quotes

If I drive, I'll have to have a couple of drinks first because I am very self-conscious about my driving.


Brian: What happened to your good buddy James Woods?
Peter: He was having trouble catching things in his mouth. What happened to your girlfriend?
Brian: Same problem.