The CW Quotes
And with that, a huge congratulations to the newest member of the Riverdale town council, Percival Pickens!
Alice
Kevin: I should tell you, Toni. It’s not easy for me to say this, but I’m filing for primary custody of Baby Anthony.
Toni: Don’t! Kevin, please don’t do this.
Archie: Come on, Cheryl, we’re the good guys.
Cheryl: Spoken like a true villain.
Archie: Cheryl, have you had any private contact from Percival Pickens? Did he stop by to interview you?
Cheryl: For a census? Yes, but I was taking a buttermilk bath, so I couldn’t receive him. Why for?
Betty: We’re worried his intentions for Riverdale aren’t above board.
Jughead: We think he’s recruiting people to his side.
Cheryl: For some nefarious agenda? Honestly, I’d be more worried about an angry mob dragging me into the forest in the middle of the night and burning me at the stake.
Abigail: Tomissina lived her life passionately and drank deeply from the juices of the world. Until she was murdered by a warlock pirate.
[Toni laughs]
Toni: What are you talking about? There’s no such thing as a warlock pirate.
Kevin: Thank you so much for inviting me, Hermione.
Hermione: Oh, not at all, Kevin! I know you’re a superfan. And this is going to be an extra special episode of reality television. All about how Veronica and I are dealing with the emotional fallout of Hiram’s tragic death.
Veronica: Wait, is that what we’re doing here?!
Hermione: Don’t worry, Honey. I’ll guide you through it.
Veronica: My father, Hiram Lodge, is dead.
[The crowd murmurs]
Veronica: He died under mysterious violent circumstances. I’m fine, but please, rejoice! Riverdale’s Big Bad will be tormenting us no longer.
Jughead: Some things I can do as before: read, eat hamburgers, kiss Tabitha. But there are other things that I may never be able to do again. The fact of the matter is my world shattered. The question now was, how will I rebuild?
Glen: Are you seeing anyone lately?
Betty: Yeah. Archie.
Glen: Come on, that pipsqueak? He satisfies you, really?
Betty: A lot more than you ever did.
You shouldn’t have disrespected Betty that way!
The Trash Bag Killer
Veronica: Daddy’s had many chances. A more permanent solution needs to happen, which is why I’m reaching out to the underworld and putting a bounty on his head.
Reggie: Ronnie, no matter what Hiram did, he’s still your dad.
Veronica: It’s an act of self-preservation. My father will never stop gunning for us.
Cheryl: To free Britta, do we have to perform an exorcism?
Nana Blossom: No, no, no!
Cheryl: Okay…
Nana Blossom: We must perform a banishment.
