Oh, finally! Some of us have been waitin' all evening for a cert...
(the family is sitting around the dinner table, and Lois walks in)
Peter: Oh, finally! Some of us have been waitin' all evening for a certain wife to come home and feed her starving family.
Lois: Peter, I told you I was gonna be late. Couldn't you have handled dinner?
Peter: You can't ask me to make dinner, Lois. That's like asking me to choose between Sarah Jessica Parker and Kirsten Dunst in a "hot body, weird face" contest, it can't be done.