Ash vs Evil Dead
Sundays 9:00 PM on StarzAsh vs Evil Dead Quotes
Funeral Director: You must be the husband of the deceased.
Ash: Yeah for like an hour and a half.
Brock: I like my kids cooked medium rare!
Ash: And I love the smell of old man in the morning!
I think it's time that you back off Ash. Course, there's nothing you cand o to me, but I'd hate for anything to happen to your precious little girl.
Ruby
Well uh ... rest in peace Candy Barr. You were cursed with a dumb name, but uh ... I'll always remember you. Or
at least, I'll never forget you again.
You may be born from the image of that idiot Ash, but you'll be nothing like him.
Ruby
When the current Prophesized one is killed by his own flesh and blood, his powers will move to the next in line. When I'm done with Ash Williams and his daughter, my baby will be the last man standing.
Ruby
Ash: How was I supposed to know that all that crazy sex would lead to a kid?
Kelly: Yeah funny how that works. You know what, let's just hope you didn't leave any more Brandy's out there.
Ash: Jesus of Anaheim.
Ash: We gotta do that thing, what's it called, like when your driving a car, putting on deodorant and trying to drink a beer at the same time?
Kelly: Wreckless endangerment?
Ash: No, Kelly keep up. "Multitasking," that's it.
Magazine Model: I'm not finished yet!
Ash: That's what they all say baby.
Ash: From now on, protecting Brandy is job one. I may suck balls as a father, but I will not let evil take that away...Brandy I meant...or my balls.
Kelly: We got it!
Mrs. Lam: Hello Mr. Williams. How's your father?
Ash: Oh he's still dead.
You know me as Ash Williams. The hero who saved Elk Grove from evil. For 30 long years I've used this saw on monsters and demons. But those battles are won. So now I use it to--slash prices!
