Awkward Quotes
You can't even cook a pop-tart Bro.
Jake
What am I doing? I've been spending my whole night trying to out-douche a douche.
Tamara
Tamara: Am I cockblocking?
Ming: Yes!
And then on Sunday Jesus forgives all your sins, and there's a taco party.
Lissa
Well, if they tell you to drink the Kool-Aid and take a nap. Don't.
Tamara
Jenna: Which is why I am going on a church retreat?
Valerie: With Bible thumpers?
I can't, I'm going to church camp.
Jenna
Hobags are relegated to the back of the bus.
Sadie
Tamara: Remember his shirt, "Take it outside?" I realized where I know that from: My mouth. That's what I said to Ricky Schwartz when I pulled my freaky-dink at the assembly. Kyle's moved on from stalking you to stalking me!
I'm not totally sold on the whole Jesus being straight thing. All that time in the desert with 12 dudes and no women...
Clark
I'm a pregnant woman who claims she's a virgin. So, decide for yourself.
Sadie
I want to thank you all for coming to this required assembly.
Valerie
