Frank: Hey... I'm Frank, Libby's boyfriend.
Gabielle: Libby, you didn't tell us you had a boyfriend!
Libby: Didn't I?! I thought I had...
Frank: What's that? A present for our baby?
Carlos: I'm sorry... Did you just say "our baby?"

Peter: What are you doing?
Bree: I'm just giving you a little kiss.
Peter: Why?
Bree: Well, it's just my way of saying "thank you" for everything you've done for me in the last few weeks.

Edie: Don't tell anyone but I'm planning a huge surprise for Karl!
Susan: Surprise?!
Edie: Yeah I put in together an engagement party tomorrow afternoon.
Julie: Oh Cool!
Edie: But that's not the surprise. Actually, it's gonna be a surprise wedding!

Mike: You're just gonna have to let this go.
Felicia: Sounds to me that there's someone let go from his rage!
Mike: Maybe I have.
Felicia: But I haven't!

If you'll excuse me, I gotta go buy a wedding dress! Oh by the way, I'll be wearing white so that'll be a surprise for everybody!

Edie

Lynette: That's not why you came to apologize is it?
Bree: What do you mean?
Lynette: To soften me up for the deposition...

Karl: Speaking of Edie... I have some big news... I finally did it... I popped the question!
Julie: Congratulations dad!
Susan: Yeah... Congratulations! What happened to "waiting 6 months?"
Karl: Edie and I are not getting married tomorrow. It takes months to plan a classic wedding.

Carlos: He's not going to sell his baby for $8000!
Gabrielle: Are we talking about the same idiot?! I think for $30,000 you throw in a kidney!

Temptation comes to all of us. Whether we succumb to it or not depends on our ability to recongnize it's disguise. Sometimes it comes in the form of an old flame, flickering back to life. (Shot of Susan sitting by her fireplace, touching her lips) Or a new friend, who can be so much more (Shot of Peter helping Bree sober up with coffee) Or a young child who awakens feelings we didn't know we had. And so we give in to temptation, all the while knowing come morning, we'll have to suffer the consequences. (Shot of Gabrielle and Carlos at their home. Gabby is holding the baby, while Carlos is looking out the window)

Mary Alice

Mr. Beale: You paid Libby?
Gabrielle: You said we could give her gifts. Everybody loves getting cash.

On her first day of sobriety, Bree Van de Kamp found an old cork, which reminded her just how much she craved Chablis. So she called her sponsor, who came over with a DVD which they watched till her craving had passed. Five days later after she developed a thirst for merlot, Peter arrived with a deck of cards. The next week, he brought over Chinese takeout because Bree had told him she was consumed by thoughts of vintage chardonnay. By her the day of sobriety, Bree had stopped thinking about alcohol altogether because her thoughts were now centered elsewhere. Though she didn't know it, Bree had answered her own question. The easiest way to overcome one addiction is to replace it with another.

Mary Alice

Susan: (opens the door to Karl and Edie) Hi! What's going on?
Edie walks in, past Susan, without saying a word
Karl: Edie wants to discuss our littledeception.
Susan: Exactly how ugly is this gonna get?
Edie: (shouts from the other room) How long does it take to shut a door?!

Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes

Xiao-mei: Here, taste this.
Carlos: Oh, man! Xiao-mei, that is amazing.
Xiao-mei: You like?
Carlos: Oh, yeah. Sorry if I'm making a mess.
Xiao-mei: It's okay. Mu Shu Pork. Supposed to be messy.
Carlos:I wish Gabrielle could cook like this. Have you ever tried her enchiladas?
Xiao-mei:One time they make me sick.

Matthew: Mom. Look, I know you're out there. Please, just talk to me. Mom, I need something to drink. Just some water, some juice, something, anything, please. (bangs on the door) Mom! You want me to say I set Caleb up. Yeah, I did it. I started thinking about all those years, years that we had to take care of him and I just thought maybe once he was gone, we could have a normal life. And I'm sorry. But Mom, you have got to let me out of here, now!
(Betty gets up. With a crowbar, she bangs on the door.)
Betty: You! You were willing to stand by and let me murder your brother without reason. It's an unforgivable betrayal! I am so consumed with rage, it's best you stay in there because if I let you out, I don't know what I might do to you!