Oh, my God! His chin does kinda look like nuts!

Quagmire

Can't you just go out there and pretend to have a good time?

Lois

Meg: Trust me, I know more about getting bullied than anyone.
Peter: You do? How?

The only way to settle a family dispute is in the cage.

Peter

And once again a Heavy Flow has ruined another lady's evening.

Wrestling Announcer

Or you can pull the hose out of the bucket and let the hose run free.

Peter

Peter's a good friend. Not like Cleveland.

Quagmire

Peter, face it. Without Quagmire, we're boring.

Joe

See, we're all terrible people inside.

Lois

You don't have to win to have fun.

Joe

Lois, I am an unelected vigilante and take my job very seriously.

Peter

Don't worry, Mr. Griffin. You're every bit as sympathetic as this chubby-cheeked coco angel.

Peter's Lawyer

Family Guy Quotes

Aunt Margarite [on her video will]: Lois, you were always my favorite niece; I just knew you would find a wonderful man who would make all your dreams come true. But I was wrong.
Peter: And now you're dead. Score one for Peter

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.

Quagmire