Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFavorite Family Guy Quotes
For every five seconds I do not have flapjacks, I shall break one window.
Peter
Hey Chris? What ever happened to Geena Davis? She used to be in movies but she's not in movies anymore. She's attractive enough but when she smiles you see too much gum. Not enough tooth to gum ratio. Chris? Ah I'll tell you tomorrow!
Stewie
Carl: So in the bear world, are pandas like your version of interracial children?
Bear: Yeah Pandas are something I don't agree with.
Carl: They're cute though right?
Bear: Just when they're babies.
Math, my dear boy, is nothing more than the lesbian sister of biology
Peter
Chris: Brian's the new Meg! Brian's the new Meg!
Meg: Yeah, you're the new me!
Peter: Shut up, Meg.
BILF! Total BILF! Yeah, it's going
totally good... I got about six pacifiers now.
You call those cheap implants boobs?! Those aren't boobs! They're lies!
Stewie
Peter: (very drunk) Did I miss Byron's reward?
Lois: "Brian's award". And yes, you did!
Peter: Brian, you've been a good son, and I'm sorry you're so sick.
Sorry I was out of it. I'm sorry are we being robbed?
Stewie
Mr. and Mrs. Griffin, I'm afraid your coma's in a daughter. (laughs) I mean, I mean your daughter's in a coma. What? Oh my God, did you hear what I said? (waggles tounge) Brain freeze! Oh my god. Oh, that one is going in the Christmas letter.
Dr. Hartman
Good luck. I hope you like weird boobs.
Carter Pewterschmidt
Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Either have the baby or don't
Peter