Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Quotes
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you god?
Peter: I do... You bastard
Meg: There is no way that I'm sleeping in Chris' room this weekend; it smells like old milk in there!
Chris: Hey, if I could find it, I'd clean it up!
Aunt Margarite [on her video will]: Lois, you were always my favorite niece; I just knew you would find a wonderful man who would make all your dreams come true. But I was wrong.
Peter: And now you're dead. Score one for Peter
Coco: You simply must join us in a game of baccarat.
Peter: Right baccarat atcha!
If I ever go back to Quahog, it'll be just so that I can poke poor people with a stick!
Chris
Stewie: We're in the robot chicken universe
Peter: Will you guys move, you're blocking the tv
Chris: Look! GI Joe, Transformers, Thunder Cats, He-Man. Yay! Those shows existed!
Stewie: how does it feel to be on a major network for 30 seconds
Chris: $!%@ you!
Carnie: I guess 185 pounds
Adam West: Wrong, I'm 95 percent helium
Take your stinkin' paws off me you damn dirty dog
Stewie
Gosh Brian, I sure hope this next leap, will be the leap home
Stewie
Thanks honey, say hi to your husband. [device on his belt beeps] Oh, I've got AIDS again, better take my NyQuil Cold, Flu and AIDS. [takes pill] All gone!
Quagmire
Carnie: Step right up, step right up! You won't believe your eyes. Step right up and see the amazing half man, half clam.
Peter: What a ripoff, it's just Kim Cattrall sitting Indian style
Meg: Chris, you're hogging up all the fans.
Chris: Well, you're hogging up all the... ugly!
