Brian (trying to consol Peter): Hey, Peter, buddy. How about some TV, huh? (Turns it on)
Announcer: We now return to Freddy Got Fingered.
Peter: Oh, God. (Changes the channel to see E.T. pointing his glowing finger)
E.T.: Ouch.
Peter: Oh, God! (Changes the channel to see a Yellow Pages ad)
Announcer 2: Yellow Pages: Let your fingers do the walking. (Peter runs upstairs crying and passes Chris with a foam finger on)
Chris: Are we still going to the baseball game?
Peter: Get the hell away from me, Chris! (Continues running and crying, pans to see the Evil Monkey, doing his gesture to Peter) Stop it, Meg! (Runs away crying)

Lois: Peter, you look terrible. What happened?
Peter: I...was...raped.

Family Guy Season 5 Quotes

Peter: Guys, I went to see Dr. Hartman yesterday and he did things to my fanny (Cries)
Cleavland: Peter it's okay.
Peter: No it's not okay, you don't know what it's like.
Cleavland: You're wrong. I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts.
Peter: He did it to you too?
Quagmire: I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical slice guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig. With sexual experimentation.
Joe: You guys are a bunch of queers. (Joe rolls away, but then comes back) And so am I. Oh god, it was horrible. I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but damn it, they don't make water hot enough.

Tom Tucker: Our top story tonight: A woman loses her sex drive after a $125 dinner at Alfredo's.