When a bully picks on Chris, he goes to Peter for help, who ends up beating the kid senseless. Meanwhile, when Stewie goes out without sunscreen and accidentally gets a tan, he becomes obsessed with tanning.
Lois discovers that the school has been teaching Chris incorrect things about sex, so she volunteers to teach the sex-ed class. Meanwhile, Stewie becomes terrified of the tooth fairy and sets traps to catch her.
After blowing off his fingers with some fireworks, Peter can't get all his work done. Lois comes to the brewery to help him out. Meanwhile, Stewie discovers that Brian is dating Jillian, an attractive, but dumb woman.
Peter: Guys, I went to see Dr. Hartman yesterday and he did things to my fanny (Cries) Cleavland: Peter it's okay. Peter: No it's not okay, you don't know what it's like. Cleavland: You're wrong. I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts. Peter: He did it to you too? Quagmire: I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical slice guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig. With sexual experimentation. Joe: You guys are a bunch of queers. (Joe rolls away, but then comes back) And so am I. Oh god, it was horrible. I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but damn it, they don't make water hot enough.