I'm not spending any more time under fluorescent lighting than I have to.

Haley

• Permalink: I'm not spending any more time under fluorescent lighting than I have to.
• Rating: Unrated

Phil: You know how you can treasure special moments in your past that in no way diminish special moments in your present?
Claire: Yes sweetheart it's called having a memory.

• Permalink: Yes sweetheart it's called having a memory.
• Rating: Unrated

This whole persnickety thing is not gonna fly in the world. Never hand people another reason to make fun of you.

Jay

• Permalink: This whole persnickety thing is not gonna fly in the world. Never hand people another reason...
• Rating: Unrated

Maybe we can send un-vitations, is that a thing?

Cam

• Permalink: Maybe we can send un-vitations, is that a thing?
• Rating: Unrated

Luke: What's Zima?
Phil: Just a party in a bottle. Man that reminds me of some wild times.

• Permalink: Just a party in a bottle. Man that reminds me of some wild times.
• Rating: Unrated

I know it's hard to believe but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. And it was suggested I was out of my league when I landed Claire, by Jay mostly. And my friends, and my parents...and Claire.

Phil

• Permalink: I know it's hard to believe but I was actually a bit of a nerd back in the day. And it was...
• Rating: Unrated

I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.

Gloria

• Permalink: I just wish you would have come in sooner before I went to second base with Stella.
• Rating: Unrated

I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.

Claire

• Permalink: I don't know whether or not to be angry or impressed.
• Rating: Unrated

Oh calm down. This can’t be the first time you've woken up with other men in your bedroom.

Pepper

• Permalink: Oh calm down. This can’t be the first time you've woken up with other men in your bedroom.
• Rating: Unrated

Mitchell: Hey, Best Man.
Claire: Hello, blushing bride.
Mitchell: I feel like I should hate that more.

• Permalink: I feel like I should hate that more.
• Rating: Unrated

Manny: Hey mom, can you see this?
Gloria: What pimple?

• Permalink: What pimple?
• Rating: Unrated

Phil: Those drops are really hanging on. I’m like Han Solo when he came out of the carbonite. Nothing?
Alex: I get it. Star Trek.
Phil: You’re breaking my heart.

• Permalink: You’re breaking my heart.
• Rating: Unrated