Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 5 Quotes
Phil: The universe punished me. I did something awful to a bunch of baby crows.
Manny: Actually it's not a bunch of crows, it's called a murder.
Phil: I know what I did!
Would you believe she said I'm the emotionally fragile one? I mean how crazy is that!
Cam
Everyone knows you're not farm strong!
Pam [to Cam]
You'd rather kill your husband than admit you need glasses?
Jay
Alex: Ok, that's it Grandpa's cheating.
Haley: On Gloria? How could he possibly do better?
Haley: Shouldn't she be playing Words with Friends with friends?
Alex: Grandpa is my friend.
Haley: Of course he is. That's not sad
She can be meaner than a barn owl at sunset.
Cam
Phil: Remember before we had kids and could just lie in bed all Saturday?
Claire: That's how we got them.
Phil: Why did I have to be so sexy?
Manny got into a fight at The Sound of Music, got kicked out, I've never been so proud.
Jay
You got a problem with Poppins, you got a problem with me.
Manny
Hunnie when I met you, you were a wedding DJ. By the way Spinderfella, looks like you still need to hit the grocery store.
Claire
Mitchell: Hey fiancée.
Cam: Hello my intended.
