Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 5 Quotes
Haley: That's the old salvage yard where kids go to get high.
Claire: What? We are going there right now!
Phil: Wait, wait are you sure?
Haley: I'm gonna answer and then I'm gonna walk away, deal? I'm 420% sure.
Phil: Wow, she's bad at math.
Yes people are allowed their private thoughts and I shouldn't be so angry, but I'm latin so I get to feel whatever i want.
Gloria
Phil: Sounds fun, wear your helmets.
Manny: We will. I'm not writing my first novel by blowing through a tube.
Manny: You have to face it Jay, one day I’m gonna be moving out of this house.
Jay: Can I get that in writing? Cause I just can’t shake this image of a 30 year old you, eating my food and cuddling with my wife.
Gloria: Boys should never stop cuddling their mothers.
Jay: I’m gonna have nightmares!
I don’t get it, you’re the greatest generation, but why can’t you feel?
Manny [to Jay]
Oh please. He slips in and out of that accent like Kate Winslet in Titanic.
Mitchell [about Cam]
Jay: I’m waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office. Please rate your prostate exam. Would you say you were satisfied?
Gloria: I hope you weren’t!
We didn’t say Grace, we said on your marks, get set go.
Cam
Look, I have no problem drinking. I can literally do it standing on my head. But A ,not with my parents. Plus also I needed to stay sharp because they were obviously up to something and I was in no mood. I barely got 10 hours of sleep last night.
Haley
Phil: He seems like a real go-getter huh?
Haley: Why cause he goes and gets things?
Is this what you’re gonna do with your life? Sleep late and take a selfie?
Claire [Haley]
Wow so intense. I had no idea the kind of pressure you were under. Hunnie, I was just you for two hours, I could barely hold it together. I don’t know how you don’t have a meltdown everyday.
Claire
