NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSFavorite NCIS Quotes
Vance: You got regrets, that's on you. But it's not up to me and my kids to make them go away.
Addison: Ain't that the truth. I apologize, Leon. You have yourself a happy holiday.
Palmer: I'm so not having kids.
Abby: Okay Jimmy. That does it. Excuse us, director, but something has gotten into Mr. Palmer, and I would like to get it out now.
Vance: Well don't let me interfere.
Life isn't always perfect, you know? But sometimes things would work out for the best if you just had faith.
Abby
Jackie Vance: So this is why you had to be in the office so early? Garfield shipped Nermal to the Kremlin again?
Leon Vance: Lasagna shortage in Damascus.
McGee: Lee Wuan Kai: North Korean assassin, one time fanatical nationalist, credited with 27 targeted hits in seven countries, dozens more by association -
Tony: She likes quiet walks on the beach, laughing with friends and playing Frisbee with her Cocker Spaniel Rufus.
Ziva: It does not say that.
Tony: Well it might as well.
Tony: He got a name?
Ziva: Who?
Tony: Star of David.
Ziva: Oh him, yes he has a name.
Tony: Trevor? Bruce? Marmaduke?
Ziva: Michael.
Tony: Um, he sounded more like a Bruce than a Michael on the phone.
His chest is bigger than Diane's.
Fornell
Tony: Wow. Wowsers.
Diane: This is not what it looks like.
Fornell: Right. We were just...
Gibbs: No. I do not need the details.
Tony: I wouldn't mind a few details.
McGee: You know it's hard to imagine the same woman liking Fornell and this Eddie guy. Although, maybe Diane liked him because he's not Fornell.
Fornell: Best leave the psychoanalysis to Duckie. If you value breathing.
Fornell: Wait a sec. How exactly do you know about your mother and me?
Emily: I know everything. I put a keystroke logger on both of your Facebook accounts.
Bishop: I took the liberty of reading the Handbook of Autopsy Practice this weekend.
Palmer: The whole thing? That's over 600 pages.
Bishop: It's 596 actually. It was really cool.
Bishop: I mean, I might have a better idea. Look, Eddie is coming back. If he was ditching his car, there are easier places to abandon it than at an airport. We should put it back and watch it. And when he comes to pick it up----
Gibbs: We grab him.
Bishop: Absolutely not. We follow him, see what he does, where he goes, then we grab him.
Gibbs: Works for me.
