Gibbs: You want to make her sick?
Comey: It's stupid, I know, but I figured if I helped her feel better again, she might appreciate me more.
Bishop: That's not stupid at all.
Comey: The thing is, I'm still working on the whole cure part. I didn't want to get her sick without that. I'm not a monster, after all.

Palmer: Well there's Dirk, if it's a boy obviously. Or Oskar, with a "K".
Abby: Oskar Palmer. It's a lot of "Rs".
Palmer: If it's a girl, we're thinking Frieda, Greta, Liesl. Something von Trappish.

Vance: You got regrets, that's on you. But it's not up to me and my kids to make them go away.
Addison: Ain't that the truth. I apologize, Leon. You have yourself a happy holiday.

Palmer: I'm so not having kids.
Abby: Okay Jimmy. That does it. Excuse us, director, but something has gotten into Mr. Palmer, and I would like to get it out now.
Vance: Well don't let me interfere.

Life isn't always perfect, you know? But sometimes things would work out for the best if you just had faith.

Abby

Every moment with you from growing up to these last few days. It meant something to me. It takes a man to make a man. You've helped make me one. Before I say goodbye dad, I just want to say thank you for everything. Merry Christmas dad. I love you.

McGee

Jackie Vance: So this is why you had to be in the office so early? Garfield shipped Nermal to the Kremlin again?
Leon Vance: Lasagna shortage in Damascus.

McGee: Lee Wuan Kai: North Korean assassin, one time fanatical nationalist, credited with 27 targeted hits in seven countries, dozens more by association -
Tony: She likes quiet walks on the beach, laughing with friends and playing Frisbee with her Cocker Spaniel Rufus.
Ziva: It does not say that.
Tony: Well it might as well.

Tony: He got a name?
Ziva: Who?
Tony: Star of David.
Ziva: Oh him, yes he has a name.
Tony: Trevor? Bruce? Marmaduke?
Ziva: Michael.
Tony: Um, he sounded more like a Bruce than a Michael on the phone.

Heidi: Those are sorry excuses for personal computers. Nice monitors.
McGee: They're government issued.
Heidi: By the First Continental Congress?

His chest is bigger than Diane's.

Fornell

Tony: Wow. Wowsers.
Diane: This is not what it looks like.
Fornell: Right. We were just...
Gibbs: No. I do not need the details.
Tony: I wouldn't mind a few details.

NCIS Quotes

Bishop: Seriously? How'd you get that?
Tony: Well, it's like Gorillas in the Midst. You'll get to understand his grunts.

Torres: When I break out the glass, maybe I can rip out the bars.
Bishop: With what? Your superhuman strength?