Resident Alien
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on SyFyResident Alien Quotes
Today is all about celebrating the man that I murdered and threw in the frozen lake. Ice seems appropriate.
Harry [internal]
Look, you need to fire her before a bunch of elves move into my tree-trunk arm and start makin' a bunch of cookies.
Mike
Harry: Why do we have to ride on this train for two days? What if someone ties a lady to the tracks? If they tie her lengthwise, it could derail us.
Asta: It could, but it won't because this isn't a silent movie, Harry. And we didn't have a choice. I'm pretty sure TSA won't let you on a plane with something like that in the bag. Do you even know if or when it will hatch?
Harry: No, on my planet, we meet with a genetic partner. The partner who carries the offspring incubates hundreds of eggs. This is just one egg. One of my kind, mating with a human partner. I don't know what this will look like. I do not know when it will come. It could be hatching in a year. It could be hatching right now. Or, now. Or, now.
Asta: How did that window break?
Harry: I do not know. It is a very cheap train. Everything breaks. [he turns, his face covered in blood]
Asta: Oh my God. What happened to your face?
Harry: [feels his face] I may have killed the bad woman. It's OK! I threw her out the window. She's gone. Did you get my ice cream sandwich?
I saw so many humans today. Humans are gross, but they have each other.
Harry
Harry: This is their home. I want to meet someone like me so maybe I can feel like I am home.
Asta: Yeah, about that. Um, I spoke to Violinda at the party. She knows Goliath. Or did know him. Um, he's dead, Harry.
Harry: Goliath was dead as soon as he became more human than me.
Violinda: You need to leave. I'm not letting you take my child.
Harry: I could rip your arms off.
I just saw an alien take off its head, and there was a human inside! Do I have a human inside of me? How many licks does it take to get to the human?
Harry
Max is just getting to the point that I can leave him alone without it being a child services issue. Unless he gets into the matches.
Kate
Pizza guy: You pay for your pizza, or get out.
Asta: Of course.
Harry: Here, have some closet cash.
D'Arcy: Shit, I didn't think of it. I should have told you to bring Kate. She would love this.
Ben: Oh, she, uh, took Max to her mom's for a couple nights.
D'Arcy: Oh, Benny all alone. Let me guess, cartoons and cereal for breakfast, cartoons and cereal for dinner.
Ben: The definition of a perfect day. And with Kate gone, I don't have to worry about holding in my farts.
D'Arcy: You don't fart around your wife. What's the point of being married if you can't fart around your wife?
Ben: [chuckles] Eh, I don't do a lot of things around Kate.
D'Arcy: What does that mean?
Ben: I don't know. Sometimes I feel I can't be myself in front of her. Can't do the things that I want to do.
D'Arcy: I thought you guys were getting along great. The way she talks about it, your place is all handcuffs and frozen dildos.
Mike: Robbed?
Liv: Yes, sir. Mrs. Plunkett was robbed -- of her sense of innocence that aliens don't exist.
Mike: OK. You think police work is a joke. You think this is a game. What you think I got Willie Wonka tattooed on my ass cause it's a chocolate factory or somethin'? I swear. Everything I say goes in one ear and right out the other.
Liv: Well, right now, that would be nice.
