Stress. Fear. No wonder humans can't sleep at night.

Harry

• Permalink: Stress. Fear. No wonder humans can't sleep at night.
• Added: February 07, 2021

No one knows where great ideas come from, but you always remember where you were when they came. And in this case, my great idea came the moment I entered the exam room and I realized I was going to cut the foreskin off this baby's dick and hand it to the Sheriff.

Harry

• Permalink: No one knows where great ideas come from, but you always remember where you were when they...
• Added: February 07, 2021

Sheriff Mike: Alright. Shutup! I want it so quiet in here you can hear a mouse piss on cotton, you understand me?
D'arcy: Nope.

• Permalink: I want it so quiet in here you can hear a mouse piss on cotton, you understand me?
• Added: February 07, 2021

Harry: Do you want to put them back up? Go ahead. No one believes you, anyway, not even your parent. Tell people I am an alien. Climb to the highest tower in town and shout it to everyone.
Max: We don't have towers, you dumb alien.
Harry: I know! That was a figure of speech.
Max: No it wasn't. Oh my God. You actually thought we had towers.
Harry: I did not!
Max: You're so stupid. Hi, I'm an alien and I think it's castle times so there are towers.
Harry: I was testing you to see if you thought there were towers, and you're lucky you passed!
Max: Well, I'm going to go to school now.
Harry: Wait.
Max: I hope a tower doesn't fall on me because we live in make-believe times.
Harry: YOU'RE THE ONE WHO THINKS THERE'RE TOWERS! Dickhead. Assh...asshole.

• Permalink: YOUR THE ONE WHO THINKS THERE'RE TOWERS! Dickhead. Assh...asshole.
• Added: February 07, 2021

Harry: Good morning, dickhead.
Max: You can't call me that. That's a nasty word.
Harry: Oh, I'm sorry, shit for brains.
Max: You're inappropriate! And you stole my flyers!

• Permalink: You're inappropriate! And you stole my flyers!
• Added: February 07, 2021

Well, you don't have anything to worry about. I am not an alien, unfortunately. I hear they are pretty cool.

Harry

• Permalink: Well, you don't have anything to worry about. I am not an alien, unfortunately. I hear they...
• Added: February 07, 2021

I am not alone up here. This is bad. I just felt my rear iris pucker and my testicles tighten. My taint remains unchanged.

Harry

• Permalink: I am not alone up here. This is bad. I just felt my rear iris pucker and my testicles...
• Added: February 07, 2021

Harry: Sleep. Another example of humans being weak and inefficient. Their bodies must shut down for eight hours every single day, or they don't work properly. Please be six am. Please be six am. [It's 3:46 am]

• Permalink: 46 am]
• Added: February 07, 2021

Asta: This is Sam's chicken from the refrigerator.
Harry: He is not going to eat it.

• Permalink: He is not going to eat it.
• Added: February 03, 2021

Abigail: [walking in without knocking] Is it true what I'm hearing? You think someone poisoned my Sam?
Harry: I can't talk to you right now! I am busy with the mayor doing psychological therapy!
Ben: Uh, isn't, isn't this supposed to be private?
Harry: He's telling me he's a man-baby.

• Permalink: He's telling me he's a man-baby.
• Added: February 03, 2021

Great. It's a date. I've never gone bowling with a murderer before. It's been a goal.

D'arcy

• Permalink: Great. It's a date. I've never gone bowling with a murderer before. It's been a goal.
• Added: February 03, 2021

You're in excellent health. Concerning your breath. Did you recently eat a dead rodent?

Harry

• Permalink: You're in excellent health. Concerning your breath. Did you recently eat a dead rodent?
• Added: February 03, 2021