Sheriff Mike: Keep your hands on the handlebars where I can see 'em. Do you know why I pulled you over?
Sahar: Speed? Boredom?
Sheriff Mike: You took a left turn back there without using your hand signals. What the heck are you kids doing so far out of town anyway, huh?
Sahar: We heard bigfoot was on the loose.
Sheriff Mike: Bigfoot? What's you talkin' about? Everybody know that damn bigfoot up in Seattle. That's [sniff] Sorry about cussin' just then. I try not to do that shit around kids.

• Permalink: I try not to do that shit around kids.
• Added: February 17, 2021

I see now it's not the food that brings humans together. It's each other. There is a basic human need to feel like you belong. It feels good.

Harry

• Permalink: I see now it's not the food that brings humans together. It's each other. There is a basic...
• Added: February 17, 2021

[after his first kiss with D'Arcy] Ah! It's rigor mortis! My penis is dying!

Harry

• Permalink: Ah! It's rigor mortis! My penis is dying!
• Added: February 17, 2021

I'm starting to think the kid's not faking. He actually likes me. And why wouldn't he? I'm a likable alien.

Harry

• Permalink: I'm starting to think the kid's not faking. He actually likes me. And why wouldn't he? I'm a...
• Added: February 17, 2021

See ya around, sister wife.

D'Arcy

• Permalink: See ya around, sister wife.
• Added: February 17, 2021

What a lonely species. Not only did humans invent dogs for companionship, they insist on gathering together in groups to eat food. All I need is an empty room, a spoon, and a pie.

Harry

• Permalink: What a lonely species. Not only did humans invent dogs for companionship, they insist on...
• Added: February 17, 2021

Harry: This body needs ten hours of sleep to function, and your domesticated wolf woke it up before even six hours.
Sheriff Mike: Well, it must suck to get so much sleep and still look like shit.

• Permalink: Well, it must suck to get so much sleep and still look like shit.
• Added: February 17, 2021

This disruption is infuriating and very disrespectful. How am I supposed to sleep or bury the dead guy in my freezer with all these people out here?

Harry

• Permalink: This disruption is infuriating and very disrespectful. How am I supposed to sleep or bury the...
• Added: February 17, 2021

Harry: [internal] [holding up severed foot to his] Definitely my foot. It's amazing how my people have developed the ability to mimic other lifeforms on a cellular level. We are an incredible [Asta makes a noise] and I forgot to close the door!
Asta: When you're done being next-level weird, we have the Briscoes in the exam room.
Harry: Oh! There's my sock! It's here.
Sheriff Mike: Where's my goddamned foot? You stole my dead five little piggies, not to mention Liv's favorite bucket. She puts her soda pop in there!

• Permalink: Where's my goddamned foot? You stole my dead five little piggies, not to mention Liv's...
• Added: February 07, 2021

Everybody has secrets. Fear is such a great motivator. It makes people lock those secrets away. But for every one person locking away their secrets, there are two more people seeking to uncover the truth.

Harry

• Permalink: Everybody has secrets. Fear is such a great motivator. It makes people lock those secrets...
• Added: February 07, 2021

Oh. I see somebody I want to talk to. With my butt.

D'arcy

• Permalink: Oh. I see somebody I want to talk to. With my butt.
• Added: February 07, 2021

D'arcy: They find that body, I'm gonna legit kill myself.
Asta: When you said have some fun, I thought you meant dinner or maybe a movie.
D'arcy: Come on! We've got a live show here. The finale, fingers crossed, is a bloated dead corpse.

• Permalink: Come on! We've got a live show here. The finale, fingers crossed, is a bloated dead corpse.
• Added: February 07, 2021