Roseanne
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on ABCRoseanne Quotes
I almost wasted my time fixing up a carrot cake.
Well David's kinda like my son and you're kinda like my daughter so of course I'm involved.
Oh he can walk in here. He just won't be able to walk out.
Dan
Now we can shop without the hassle of anyone helping us at all.
Darlene: Mom, that didn't go through.
Roseanne: I heard it beep.
Darlene: Oh my god! You're stealing that.
Roseanne: No. They're making me work as a checkout lady and my starting salary is bacon.
There is no reason to ever leave your family. You may think about it. You may dream about it. You may gas up your bike and make sandwiches, but you don't ever do it.
Dan
Becky: You told me I never moved on after Mark died. End the misery. Grieve and get on with your life. Your words.
Darlene: David didn't die.
Becky: Yeah, but your marriage did.
I know you're a quality person, David. I want you to prove me right.
Becky: Alright, so how else did I screw up my life? Bring it.
Darlene: Alright, hold on. There's a lot here to pick from. If I start with you dating your teachers I feel I'm giving short shrift to the tube top years, although I do believe the two are connected.
Darlene: I just got a text from Becky.
Roseanne: Where is she?
Darlene: She's at work. She told me what happened and according to the text she's wasted as duck.
I know if you're looking for work don't click on FantasyPositions.com. They're people working, alright, but it ain't a job site.
Dan
Let's get in there and put the us in uterus.
Jackie
