Roseanne
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on ABCRoseanne Quotes
Becky: Don't you want to pet him?
DJ: I can't, I'm allergic.
Darlene: Oh no. You're not allergic. Mom just said that because she didn't want a dog in the house.
DJ: I could have had a dog?
Darlene: Yeah, you could've had seafood too, it was just expensive.
Hey! All our lives suck. That's why we put marshmallows on yams.
No. No everybody, I got this. I have a few years left to live, and this is exactly how I want to spend it.
What is this? Courtyard by Marriott?
You know I don't know how you're so cheerful first thing in the morning. I always need coffee.
Darlene
I wanna be the fun grandma who gives them too much sugar, and teaches them to gamble and stuff.
Roseanne: What's Etsy?
Darlene: It's like a yard sale, but online because nobody can afford a yard anymore.
I had this one guy who actually wanted me to stop at every single stop sign.
I got it for the very reasonable price of our neighbor died, and they're tearing down his house.
Dan
What a delightful, and thoughtful young lady. We're so lucky she let's us live here.
Dan
Emergency! I can't use the laundry room in my building now cause someone's living there.
Becky
You're gonna wait for your kid? Mom used to yell at us in the shower.
Becky
