Scream Queens Quotes
I loved Denise as much as the rest of you. Which admittedly wasn't that much.
Munsch
Chanel: I don't know where Hester is! I mean, am I my sister's keeper?!
Chanel #5: Maybe she killed herself!
Chanel #3: Or maybe she's moved to a neighboring city with a less onerous tax burden and started killing people there.
Chanel: Honestly, that's probably what happened. I mean, she's always going on about how onerous the taxes are here, isn't that right?
Addicted? Where do you get off, you boozy old hag? Yes, I take a daily dose of pethidine! And yes, it's a very large dose, something like you would prescribe for a Clydesdale. But you know what? I love it, it is hands-down the best friend I have ever had. It is lover, friend, all wrapped up in some tiny little white tuxedo. I mean, I do, I do, I do, I think about it morning, noon, and night. But addicted? No, I am not. [pause] Yes, I obviously am, but how dare you, you creaky old whore?!
Nurse Hoffel
Oh, come on, Chanel. Are you seriously going to kill me over a Halloween costume, when we have an ER full of Lin-Manuel Mirandas and they're all tripping balls?
Chanel #5
Chanel: OK, we can stop talking about this now.
Chad's Ghost: No, I'll talk about it all night. I'll talk about how smokin' hot Denise Hemphill is all the time.
Chad's Ghost: Hello, Chanel. Oh, speaking of, do you mind killing him for me?
Chanel: What? Kill who?
Chad's Ghost: Rammy. Newsflash, Chanel, I'm super dead. And I really miss that little guy.
I'm Death. I thought it'd be a good idea to get comfortable being really close to it. Maybe even finding a way to love it.
Chanel #3
Oh, stick a hot dog in it, you manatee. You and I are officially not friends anymore.
Chanel
Chanel: I don't understand how all these middle-aged women keep stealing my men.
Munsch: Perhaps it's because you insist on Snapchatting during sex.
Chanel: That was ONE time!
First of all, I look amazing. And I'll admit, I was surprised when I tried it on and it fit like a glove, 'cause, you know, we've got different body types. My body type is "woman," and yours is "malnourished Victorian paperboy."
Denise
Chanel got me a bag of diseased whore hearts!!
Chanel's fan [joyfully]
I am sad. And where I come from, sad and skinny 20-something's feelings are more important than some silly little legal document!
Chanel
