Scrubs Season 9 Quotes
Lucy: What's your seecret [to staying young]?
Cole: Shae butter, big floppy sun hats. Oh and I made a deal with a witch.
Cox: You're not going anywhere.
Denise: Would it make a difference if I told you I had a personal issue that makes staying here really horrible for me?
Cox: It would make me quite a bit happier.
Todd: Sorry dog, already called shotgun on the lesbian.
Turk: You can't call shotgun on a person.
Todd: Alright then, dibs.
Turk: Dammit, dibs works. Todd, I'll let you run point on this, but you gotta act cool.
Drew: Strawberry frosting, nice?
Denise: Hey you got fruit, dairy, enough sugar for a month. What else do you need?
Drew: A spoon?
Denise: Use your fingers, Queen Elizabeth.
Kelso: Bar codes? What the hell is this, a supermarket? That's a human being, for god's sake!
Dr. Cox: Listen, old prospector. I know that any new machine scares you, but here's the well-held secret: you know that box that records your favorite television shows? There isn't a demon inside of it!
Kelso: Then how does it know what I like?! I miss the good old days, when doctors and patients actually got to know each other. You know, back when sexually harassing a nurse was just considered polite chit-chat.
Turk: Yes...the good old days. Back when a man of my color couldn't be a doctor...but could live out his life-long dream of one day driving a white woman to her hair appointments. Yes. Things were much better back then.
Dr. Kelso: See? Turkleton gets it.
Denise: I need your help. I have a patient that had to pee on a ski lift so she pulled her pants down and her butt froze to the seat and when she got off she lost most of the skin on her ass.
Drew: What's the question?
Denise: Can I laugh at that?
Drew: That depends, is she within ear shot?
Denise: No.
Drew: That's funny. No butt skin.
Denise: I lied, she's right behind you.
Babe, I can read you like the back of a DVD cover.
Cole
Ooh motel sex? It's like I'm a senator and your a tobacco lobbyist. We should arrive separately.
J.D.
J.D.: Denise brought some non-alcholic beer.
Denise: Yeah, I got it for this dude I'm railing, he used to be an alky.
Drew: Not an appropriate time to bring all that up, but there it is.
Cole: And I brought some sensual body chocolate. What's the situation with the big old D's? Got any milk yet?
Cox: I mean around here, you just can't let your work and personal life overlap.
Denise: Yeah, that was always Ally McBeal's problem too. It's so hard being a working woman in the 90s.
Elliot, do you think there's a Patrick Dempsey movie I haven't seen?
J.D.
Elliot: Turk also said that Knight Rider is a documentary.
J.D.: It's based on fact, everyone knows that.
