Scrubs Season 9 Quotes
Drew: You haven't done any cutting on the cadaver yet.
Lucy: I can't wait to get in there.
Cole: Hells yeah. My woman's gonna go all Edward Scissorhands on his ass. I'm making a hedge.
Drew: Is he really good in bed?
Lucy: He'd have to be.
Drew: I'd hope so for your sake.
Lucy: Drew, we haven't really connected yet.
Drew: Nope.
Lucy: Is this because I slept with Cole I invalidated myself as a person?
Drew: Pretty much.
Lucy: I get that.
J.D.: All the baby books say we'll be back to our normal sex life in about six weeks.
Turk: Those baby books are filled with lies. You don't know, it's crazy. You're gonna be changing diapers covered in spit up. You're not gonna have sex for a long, long, long time.
J.D.: No hide the penny?
Turk: No.
no me girl, you boy
Turk: No.
J.D.: No dirty Zulu warrior?
Turk: No, and that one's racist.
J.D.: There'll still be cuddling, right? Please tell me there'll be cuddling. I'm a man, I have needs.
Turk: She'll have a baby to cuddle with.
Turk: That bastard.
Jordan: You know that bag of bones my sister Danny married? He died, she got nothing.
Cox: Bert died?
Jodran: You're not listening. Danny got nothing. You need to do your will so I can get all your stuff.
Let's just avoid the breast region. They're big, but they are not for touching - too sore. And let's just avoid the thighs; they sort of feel like memory foam, they leave a hand print. And I have the elbows of a 75 year old black man.
Elliot
Elliot: What is that?
J.D.: It's our baby's crib.
Elliot: It looks like a trap. You trying to catch someone else's baby?
Cole: Oh like you're so great? you're wishy washy, you're obsessed with horses and there's that weird role play where you make me pretend I'm black.
Lucy: Is this coming from Cole or Deshaun?
Cole: Both.
You can't just jump in front of golf carts, that's how gardeners die.
Cole
You're smart, nice and smell like the beach. Not like the kind of beach with dead fish, homeless dudes camping, and that weird foamy stuff...
Cole
Lucy: Denise, that was girl talk. You have broken a sacred bond between sisters.
Denise: Oh no, now I'm not gonna be able to wear the traveling pants this week. Look, I know that you have daddy slash food slash body slash horse issues. But Cole? Really?
Drew, if I wanted to be with a girl, I could. Save all the emotional crap for your diary.
Denise
Why do white people ruin everything? I only got to say "'fo shizzle" for a week.
Turk
