Shameless
Sundays 9:00 PM on ShowtimeShameless Quotes
Gallaghers pay their debts, now where the hell is our brother?
Fiona
Hey we only sell American beer here to children of age! Come back when you're 16.
Kevin
Isn't it wonderful? Mr. Kevin is going to help all of the old people who are going blind.
Ethel [about the pot]
I'm sneaking antibiotics into his toothpaste just in case.
Ian [about Lip]
Fraternal loyalty doesn't extend to stupidity bud.
Ian [to Lip]
The man's in love with his own fabulous self, probably masturbates while he licks his reflection in the mirror.
Veronica
I got tasered for like a second and I crapped myself. There's no way you got tasered twice, fought off three cops and ran away.
Frank
Look at me, I can't go to jail. I might as well wear heels.
Steve
Maybe a vulva, I hear those are real safe.
Sheila [about a car]
Ian: Hey Fiona? I'm gay.
Fiona: I know.
I banged Filipino hookers in the Navy that look more innocent than my niece.
Bar Patron
Carl: They give you a cavity search.
Lip: No we weren't there long enough, think it was probably on the menu though.
