Single Drunk Female
Wednesdays 10:30 PMSingle Drunk Female Quotes
Sam: This shop is officially closed for business.
Felicia: By shop, you mean your vagina?
Sam: What else could I possibly mean?
Felicia: Aww Sam, don’t get all sad on me. This was your first try.
Brian: Would you like some?
Sam: No, I’m sober.
James: Whoa!
Sam: Whoa good or whoa bad? It’s bad, isn’t it?
Olivia: If you feel lonely or anything, give me a call. The door is always open.
Stephanie(in the background): No, the door is closed.
Olivia: I love you. Hang in there.
You want to know my geekiest move ever? Treat every day like a video game. Check off my goals, rack up some points, and if I don’t give in to the temptations of the evil wizard Drink-o, I get a reward.
Mindy
This is the one. It’s the first dress that hasn’t made me want to burst into tears when I look in the mirror.
Brit
Brit: I know it’s weird but I could really use your help.
Sam: Totally. I came as fast as I could considering I can’t drive at the moment.
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day or as I call it, the purge for sober people.
Mindy
Olivia: You are so close to 30 days, maybe find joy in things that aren’t triggering.
Sam: Like what? What do you do?
Show up for the people that matter and they will show up
Olivia
I waited 25 minutes in line to get a corndog with no condiments just the way you like it.
Felicia
Carol: Bob, what are you doing? That’s Sam’s probation officer!
Bob: She’s a delight. She fits right in.
Carol: I don’t need book club discussing Sam’s weird relationship with alcohol.
