South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralFavorite South Park Quotes
And we want our moms to stop tripping because bitches be tripping all the time!
Randy
Tom Cruise: Imagine it, Tim. No one could rip on you for all the rehashed movies you've made lately. There'd never be a TV show that pointed out you haven't had an original thought since Beetlejuice. And you put Johnny Depp and the same crappy music in every film. And if you're so in love with Johnny Depp you should just have sex with him already. No TV show could ever say that.
Tim Burton: Gee, that'd be swell.
Fat Abbot: Hey, Hey, Hey. What's goin' on Rudy?
Rudy: Man Fat Abbot, you need to lose weight.
Fat Abbot: I'll lose weight when I feel like it bitch, shut you're bitch ass mouth hoe.
Rudy: Bitch! I'll kick yo ass.
Kyle: WHOA DUDE!
Stan: SWEET!
Fat Abbot: You think you slick you punk ass blasphemous dope-fiend bitch, I had my Jimmy waxed seven times last week, I'll bust a cap in you're *beep* ass *beep* head!
Kyle: Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.
Why, I haven't seen a beating like that since Rodney King.
Frank
Cashier: Wow, you must have one dusty computer.
Towelie: Fuck you, it's not illegal, bitch.
This grizzly bear has the strength of over ten Morgan Freeman's. I'm really pissing him off right now.
Steve Irwin
Randy: Hey Stan, my computer says we're not friends anymore.
Stan: My Facebook profile went rogue, dad. Had to go into the circuitry and do battle with it. I sent all my friends somewhere else.
Randy: Okay, so we're not friends then?
Stan: Fuck off dad.
Alright, that does it. Screw you guys, I'm going home. Talking poo is where I draw the line.
Cartman
Mr. Stotch: Butters, away from the window, you're being grounded.
Butters: Sorry dad. I was just being the voice of a generation.
He promised everything would change if we worshiped him, but we're still sitting here smoking cigarettes like before. It's like Obama all over again.
Goth Kid
"Out on the balcony, when Reginald kissed Diana lips, her knees went weak. Slowly, he pulled her top down exposing her soft, unyielding breasts." Oh, yeah! Now this is getting good! "Just the
</i> Mr. Garrison
sight of those breasts made Reginald's penis very hard. His penis was of considerable size, and now beads of sweat ran slowly down his penis, making it glisten like a strong swimmer fresh from out of the pool. It was a fantastic penis that seemed as strong as a horse's leg, yet as delecate as a flower wrapped in silk. What a grand, grand penis! Diana's nipples..." Uh, let's see! "Diana's nipples..." OH, WRITER'S BLOCK! WRITER'S BLOCK! Hm! CRAP! I'm stuck! Oh, well! Maybe that's enough writing for tonight, Mr. Hat!
We no longer f**k the earth, we DP it.
Tony Hayward
