I disinfected the kitchen and the bathroom, and now I thought I'd learn Finnish.

Sheldon

If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?

Sheldon

Wow, that's all you got after you were the most obnoxious person on a double date that included Howard Wolowitz?

Penny

Wolowitz: I once dated a girl who believed she was abducted by aliens.
Leonard: And that didn't bother you?
Wolowitz: Au contraire; it meant she was gullible and open to a little probing.

Raj: Come on, let's get a drink.
Sheldon: I don't drink.
Raj: Well I do, and when my wingman is carrying a Green Lantern lantern, I drink a lot.

Sheldon: I'm sorry Raj, I have no desire to salute any article of clothing tonight, much less one that's linked to race riots in the 1940s.
Raj: Race Riots?
Sheldon: The "Zoot Suit Riots?"
Raj: Ohhhh. I always thought that was some sort of after-Christmas sale.

Raj: We'd just see what's what.
Sheldon: That's a semantically null sentence.

Raj: Good news guys, I got the four hour special edition of Watchmen.
Leonard: Got it.
Wolowitz: Seen it.
Sheldon: Detailed analysis posted online.

Beverly: Your Check Engine light is on.
Penny: Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that.

Excuse me, Leonard, I am the one who is getting a divorce; Mitzi is the one who is dead; why are you the one making a fuss?

Beverly

So, Howard, have you and Rajesh finally summoned the courage to express your latent homosexual feelings towards one another?

Beverly

Leonard: When we watch Frosty the Snowman, he roots for the sun.
Sheldon: Excuse me, but the sun is essential for all life on earth. Frosty is merely a bit of frozen, supernatural ephemera in a stolen hat. A crime, by the way, for which he is never brought to account.

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid!
Sheldon: Well that's no reason to cry; one cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid and it makes me sad.