I'm a walking, brown Yelp.com.

Raj

Penny, I told you if you don't put him in his crate at night, he just runs around the apartment.

Leonard

Sheldon: I asked myself what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable and three answers came to mind: a toll booth employees, an Apple store genius, and what penny does. Because I don't like touch other peoples' coins and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am.

I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out the third Matrix movie.

Leonard

Wolowitz [about Sheldon]: How long's he been stuck?
Leonard: Intellectually about 30 hours, emotionally about 29 years.
Wolowitz: Have you tried rebooting him?
Leonard: No, I think it's a firmware problem.

Bozeman does have a comedy club called the Loony Bin. Please don't forward my mail there.

Sheldon

Oh, no, he's gonna telecommute. Everybody's really excited about it.

Leonard [about Sheldon]

Wonderful security system if we're attacked by a school of tuna.

Sheldon

I do not have to urinate. I am a master of my own bladder. Drat.

Sheldon

The four of you are three of my closest friends, and one treasured acquaintance.

Sheldon

My new computer came with Windows 7. Windows 7 is much more user-friendly than Windows Vista. I don't like that.

Sheldon

I'm not crazy; my mother had me tested.

Sheldon

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Hey, Sheldon, did you change your Wi-Fi password again?
Sheldon: Yes, it's "Penny, get your own Wi-Fi." No spaces.

James Earl Jones: Why don't you and your friends come to Comic-Con with me?
Sheldon: Really?
James Earl Jones: Of course. And San Diego is right across the border from my favorite city on Earth, Tijuana.... where I'm taking you every night!
Sheldon: Ay-yi-yi.
James Earl Jones: Ay-yi-yi. Bang. Bang.