Harris: Wow, you’re not giving this up. It must really bug you that Ben doesn’t want to go.
Darlene: It more than bugs me. It’s made me question the whole relationship.
Harris: Damn. Don’t get between you and a luau.

• Permalink: Damn. Don’t get between you and a luau.
• Added: May 12, 2021

There wasn’t much of a goodbye, but they gave me this plant to see if I could keep it alive, which really isn’t very reassuring when you already have a kid.

Becky

• Permalink: There wasn’t much of a goodbye, but they gave me this plant to see if I could keep it alive,...
• Added: May 12, 2021

Darlene: My sister’s coming back to work tomorrow from rehab. Spoiler alert, she’s high on life and it’s going to make you want to drink.
Jeff: Not me. I don’t need alcohol to feel good about the world. There’s mushrooms, peyote, those frogs you can lick.

• Permalink: Not me. I don’t need alcohol to feel good about the world. There’s mushrooms, peyote, those...
• Added: May 12, 2021

Beverly: Why did you think you had to go on a show where you have to know things? Why couldn’t you just go on a show where you have to be naked and afraid? What’s the name of that show?
Jackie: Naked and Afraid.
Beverly: That’s the one. You’d think by now you’d know that you can’t do anything you’ve set your mind to.
Jackie: Yeah, I still have that pencil case you wrote that on.
Beverly: You’re a small person. Live a small life. That way no one else knows when you’re failing. It’s like passing gas in the bathtub.
Jackie: You should be taking showers, Mom, it’s easier to slip that way.

• Permalink: You should be taking showers, Mom, it’s easier to slip that way.
• Added: May 12, 2021

If at first you don’t succeed, get the message. You’re a failure.

Beverly

• Permalink: If at first you don’t succeed, get the message. You’re a failure.
• Added: May 12, 2021

Barb: You’re riding that rock n’ roll horse until it drops, aren’t you?
Louise: Well aren’t you a sassy, old bitch.
Barb: Thank you. I think it’s a crime that people aren’t more honest with each other.
Louise, Yeah, and I think it’s a crime that we’re not allowed to hit our customers, but here we are.

• Permalink: Thank you. I think it’s a crime that people aren’t more honest with each other. Louise, Yeah,...
• Added: May 12, 2021

Barb: I just want to say that it was not my intention to create problems between you and Ben. I was trying to create problems between you and your father.
Darlene: Well, the important thing is that you were trying to create problems.

• Permalink: Well, the important thing is that you were trying to create problems.
• Added: May 12, 2021

Becky: So you want me to start drinking.
Dan: No, no, of course not. We’re all very proud of what you accomplished, we just want you to shut up about it.

• Permalink: No, no, of course not. We’re all very proud of what you accomplished, we just want you to...
• Added: May 12, 2021