The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Season 2 Episode 18: "Pilot Lights & Sister Fights" Quotes
This is why we’re not getting pregnant, because your sperm is too stupid to find my egg.
Darlene
Waitress: Maybe you should call your wife so she can pick you up.
Dan: I’m just staying at the hotel next door and my wife’s dead.
Waitress: You didn’t kill her, did you?
Dan: No.
Waitress: I’m sorry. We’re right off the expressway, we’ve got to ask.
Harris: Your old people sex is destroying the Earth.
Ben: We’re not going to be here that long so we don’t care.
I just want a shower. I just want my hair to smell like pretty apples again.
Becky
Hey Rom-Com, I hear you rode all the way to Springfield to tell Louise you couldn’t live without her. Did you catch her at the airport before she flew to Paris to marry the wrong guy?
Jackie
Jackie: We’re all looking for the same thing. Somebody who doesn’t play games. Somebody who’s emotionally available and most especially, somebody who doesn’t wear a wedding ring.
Dan: I don’t know if I can do that.
Jackie: Dan, taking off the ring, it’s not going to erase all the wonderful memories that you had with Roseanne. Your age and drinking history is going to do that.
It’s a good thing I got some sleep because if I hadn’t I’d knock your tiny ass across the room.
Becky
Talk to me. I want to understand why you think I want giant babies with Becky. I want tiny, psychotic babies with you.
Ben
