The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Quotes
Neville: I know how Jackie feels, but I’m thinking of inviting her mother to the wedding. She’s never had a good relationship with her mom, and I think I can be the salve on that wound.
Dan: That’s not a wound. That’s a dead foot. You’ve got to cut it off.
Darlene: She’s way too young. He’s not the right guy, but I’ve tried to break them up twice, and it nearly destroyed my relationship with her.
Dan: Maybe you stop her from ruining her life and worry about the relationship later.
Darlene: This is what she wants, Dad, and she’s 20, so it’s going to happen. And besides, I’d rather have my daughter talking to me if she makes a mistake than not talking to me.
Dan: After all you put us through with that relationship, you’re going to run off and elope?
Darlene: Listen, I tried one wedding with all of you guys there. Let me try one now with nobody there, and if it sticks, then I’ll know that you people are the problem.
My daughter’s got a house with a crematorium, and I’m just itching to fire that thing up.
Dan
Darlene: I can’t believe this is happening. Don’t marry me just because you want a sink.
Ben: I don’t know how else to get one.
Darlene: I want to put a finished basement right here.
Becky: Oh, no way. You and I get in a fight, and the next thing I know, you’re locking me down there with Beverly Rose, and I’m tapping on the pipes for help.
Ben: Don’t finish the basement, just seal it. That makes more sense.
Darlene: I think I’ll decide what makes sense, just like you decided your face should be more wolf pelt than face.
Ben: I’m trying to help. Why do you keep jumping on me?
Darlene: Because you keep telling me what to do with my house. Let’s have a code, okay? When I want your opinion, I will use these special words. “Ben, I will probably do the opposite, but what do you think?
Becky: So, she bites your head off every time you say something, but you keep coming over, and you’re making this big push for two sinks. Who would use that second sink, Ben?
Ben: It’s not for anyone. It’s for resale value. I mean, it could be for someone who loves her and wants to live with her, like someone who has a railroad spike through their head and can no longer feel dignity.
I can handle anything he throws at me because that’s what I need to do to get where I want to go.
Mark
I hate you so much. You’ve destroyed my life, and I’m going to spend the rest of my waking hours hoping that you fail at everything you do.
Darlene
Louise: Now he’s going to be busy building that house for you and Darlene. I’m never going to see him.
Becky: Building the house was your idea!
Louise: I was being nice.
Becky: Well, you made a mistake. Move on.
Every time one of you needs something, you expect your Dad to drop everything and take care of you, and the thing he usually drops is me.
Louise
