The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Quotes
Dan: Maybe we shouldn't do this. Maybe he's got another friend he's doing fun stuff with.
Darlene: What are you, eight?
Glenn: This is my chance. I can finally write my book, and you and I don't have to hide our relationship anymore.
Becky: Oh, that is fantastic. So you have some money saved up?
Glenn: Oh God, no. I'm a community college teacher. I made more money working at the Gap in high school. I'm good for three months, maybe four if I eat once a day and live in a youth hostel.
Darlene: What happened to the whole world’s screwed, and there’s nothing you can do about it?
Harris: The world is screwed, but when something like this happens in your backyard, you have two choices. I can either hide and bitch like a little punk, or I can get up off my ass and do something like a boss.
Louise: We just watched a kid get shot yesterday.
Dan: You know, I saw the same thing myself, but I’ve still got to go to work today, put a smile on my face and help the customers find the right drill bit. So if I have to joke around a little bit to get through the day, let me have that.
Are you insane? We’re the ones wandering around the house in the middle of the night. You’ve got a better chance of shooting one of us than anybody else. Just get rid of the gun!
Becky
Darlene: I’m actually relieved that Mark went to the state capitol now.
Ben: Oh yeah, because no angry mob ever storms a capitol.
Louise: This is crazy. It’s like this happens every day.
Harris: It does happen every day.
Getting this house is about me moving on and standing on my own two feet. That means not depending on my Dad for a place to live, and then if I let you cosign, I’m just depending on you for a place to live. I don’t even know what happened to me. I was always such an independent person, and I guess I kind of lost my way. But I want to walk through every room of a house and know that I got there on my own.
Darlene
Darlene: The realtor says that I have to be part of a couple to have a real shot with the seller. Apparently, any big, dumb sack of male DNA will make me more attractive as a buyer.
Ben: If you’re asking me to pretend that we’re a couple, then I need to be wooed. Tell me I’m pretty.
Darlene: Okay, you’re a big, dumb sack of pretty. Now, will you go?
Ben: Now that I feel good about myself, yes.
Darlene [to Ben]: You’re saying I don’t know what I’m doing. You’re saying you think I need a man.
Dan: [to Ben]: Don’t. Don’t say it. Put the pin back in that grenade, soldier. No one needs to die today needlessly here.
Darlene: That’s from the trash. You’re eating trash candy.
Dan: Waste not, want not. That’s in the Bible. I’m doing God’s work.
Darlene: There is a really good house here. It’s right at the top of my price range, but it’s the only one that hasn’t said, train lovers look no further.
Dan: I wouldn’t consider the train a deal-breaker. I think it’s nice when your house rocks you to sleep.
