The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Quotes
Dr. Hardy: How are the panic attacks coming?
Darlene: Well, I'm sitting in this van with my ex and the guy I was going to go to Hawaii with, and a psychic told me that the only way I'm ever going to figure out my life is if I go on a spiritual journey.
Dr. Hardy: Sounds like driving into a tornado is the best thing that can happen to you right now. Good luck.
To my hubby! Oh man, I never thought I would say that, but now I don't think I will ever stop.
Louise
When you said you were okay just living together, I realized I wasn't. I want to be your husband. Cause once we're married, that's at least one legal speed bump before you can ditch me.
Dan
Darlene: Thanks for caring.
Ben: It's hard to stop even when you want to.
The wedding is tomorrow, and the bridesmaids' dresses aren't even here yet. The florist says that they're out of baby's breath, and he's going to replace it with eucalyptus, which is going to make the entire church smell like cough medicine. And after our ceremony, there's a funeral. So there is going to be a casket off to the side reminding us that as we start our new lives together, someone's going the other way.
Louise
Becky: I had sober sex with Mikey.
Darlene: Wow. When you make amends you don't go halfway.
Darlene: I just want you to know that this all started because you're so great. My Mom's gone and I just wanted to get closer so we could talk about stuff. I have so much toxic baggage to share with you.
Louise: And I can't wait to hear all your toxic baggage and to share all my toxic baggage with you.
Darlene: There's nothing to talk about. I was just trying to help you but you were so offended by the thought of vegan Ethiopian food or a black wedding dress. I would have loved to have that at my wedding.
Dan: But it's not your wedding.
Darlene: I know that, Dad.
Dan: Do you, sweetie?
Darlene: What we do have to get you is a great wedding dress. You know, I said if I ever got married again I would wear black. You are so rock 'n roll. You just have to do that.
Louise: Well, you know, here's the thing. I already got the dress and I decided to go a little more Here Comes the Bride and a little less Don't Fear the Reaper.
Pastor Phil: I never had a runner before. I made it work for me. When you left I told the congregation that when you came in you weren't able to walk, so Hallelujah!
Darlene: The real miracle is that you got me into church at all. I hope they got you like a Red Robin gift card or something for that.
When you were little it was so cute when you fought. Now it's just two bitter old spinsters going at it.
Darlene: She knew that something bad was coming, and she begged God for help, and he let her overdose. How am I supposed to count on a god that would do that?
Becky: That’s not how God works. It’s not like you rub a lamp and get a wish.
Jackie: Your Mom wouldn’t want you to give up. You’ll find something that works for you.
