The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Season 3 Quotes
Darlene: You are an amazing man and I am incredibly grateful for what we have. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Now, I know that finding a way to be together hasn’t always been easy but being apart has been impossible. I love you. Ben Olinsky, will you marry me?
Ben: I’m sorry but no.
Louise: That was before I had Covid. Turns out that whole independence thing doesn’t seem quite as important when you’re alone and scared you’re going to die. Now I just want to be with you as much as I can.
Dan: Wow. So compared to death I’m looking pretty good.
Louise: You’re looking very good.
Jackie: Neville, why are you doing this?
Neville: Because I believe in you. I mean, look what you did here. You got your ass handed to you and you came back strong.
Jackie: No one’s ever wanted to invest in me.
Neville: Well, you deserve it. And besides, I’ve come to hate your mother so much that I really want to stick it to her.
Jackie: No one’s ever hated my mom with me before.
Becky: Jackie was on Jeopardy! And Aaron Rodgers has a restraining order against her.
Jackie: Yeah, it’s got his signature on it and everything.
Believe me, I saw how underwhelmed he was by my declaration of love and devotion in front of the whole family.
Darlene
You know, at rehab they said, “Let go and let God,” and all I had to do was let you make a fool of yourself on Jeopardy!
Becky
Darlene: My sister’s coming back to work tomorrow from rehab. Spoiler alert, she’s high on life and it’s going to make you want to drink.
Jeff: Not me. I don’t need alcohol to feel good about the world. There’s mushrooms, peyote, those frogs you can lick.
There wasn’t much of a goodbye, but they gave me this plant to see if I could keep it alive, which really isn’t very reassuring when you already have a kid.
Becky
Beverly: Why did you think you had to go on a show where you have to know things? Why couldn’t you just go on a show where you have to be naked and afraid? What’s the name of that show?
Jackie: Naked and Afraid.
Beverly: That’s the one. You’d think by now you’d know that you can’t do anything you’ve set your mind to.
Jackie: Yeah, I still have that pencil case you wrote that on.
Beverly: You’re a small person. Live a small life. That way no one else knows when you’re failing. It’s like passing gas in the bathtub.
Jackie: You should be taking showers, Mom, it’s easier to slip that way.
Becky: So you want me to start drinking.
Dan: No, no, of course not. We’re all very proud of what you accomplished, we just want you to shut up about it.
Barb: I just want to say that it was not my intention to create problems between you and Ben. I was trying to create problems between you and your father.
Darlene: Well, the important thing is that you were trying to create problems.
If at first you don’t succeed, get the message. You’re a failure.
Beverly
