The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Season 3 Quotes
Dan [to Darlene]: Dammit, you're supposed to be the responsible one. You're the only one around here I can depend on.
Becky: That's hurtful, but I agree.
Your shrink prescribed an indoor pool and pot. Do you know if he's taking new patients?
Becky
Jackie [to Dan]: I can't believe you were willing to lie to us and then go over and see Louise. Are you insane?
Becky: You cannot go over there. You are the poster child for underlying conditions.
Customer: Somebody said the lasagna here wasn't fit to feed a dog. I think my dog would love this.
Becky: It says our lasagna tastes like two car mats in a puddle of watered-down ketchup. And you still ordered it?
Customer: I'm from Missouri. I'm a "Show Me" guy.
Becky: I’m proud of you. There are so many times I should have done that and I didn’t.
Harris: Thanks.
Becky: Feel better?
Harris: Yeah, but no. I mean I know I deserve way better than that jerk but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
Mary: Mulan is so brave.
Dan: She took her father’s place in the war to protect him. That’s a good daughter.
Darlene: Hey, when you drop your phone I pick it up so you don’t have to bend over.
Dan: Yeah, okay.
Becky: Nobody has the right to disrespect you like that. You deserve some closure. You let one guy get away with treating you badly it’s easier to let the next guy do it to you too.
Harris: I just don’t want to be some creepy, ex-girlfriend stalker.
Becky: I don’t know why that’s gotten such a bad rap.
Becky: Dad, I need to talk to you about Josh, that rich kid that Harris is in love with.
Mark: Oh, I like him. He gives me cash to leave the room so they can makeout.
Dan: Invest that wisely; that’s your college fund.
Can we just enjoy sitting down to one meal without talking about Covid. There’s plenty of other tragic events for you two to find hilarious. Homicides are up everywhere. Enjoy.
Dan
It’s getting harder and harder for me. They don’t make ice packs big enough to cover what hurts on me at the end of the day.
Dan
I thought I was a writer and I failed at that. What if I’m not a manager either? You know, I was always a wise-ass and made fun of everybody because I felt that I was superior. But what if it’s not true? You know, what if I’m not special at all?
Darlene
You know, I really didn’t think I’d enjoy standing around talking to people all day but it’s kind of fun when you know everything and they’re clueless idiots. Maybe I am a people person.
Dan
