The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
FridaysThe Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Quotes
I’m not pretending to give a shit about three animals. I don’t give a shit about two animals. One animal can go fuck itself.
Gordon Ford
Maybe I could have Joel bring the kids down to see it. It’s gonna be years before I’ll let them watch my real show -- longer if they’re screwed up, and I need them for material.
Miriam "Midge" Maisel
Fuck you! You’re not cute just ’cause you’re four feet tall, and you’re dressed like a Katzenjammer kid.
Joel Maisel
Susie Myerson: Fuck!
Miriam "Midge" Maisel: Good "fuck" or a bad "fuck?"
Susie Myerson: It was a flat-out bad "fuck!"
Miriam "Midge" Maisel: I second that "fuck," and I’ll raise you two "shits" and a "cocksucker."
Moishe Maisel: They’re planning a very sensitive covert mission. They can’t think with you galloping in and out like you’re pulling a carriage around Central Park.
Shirley Maisel: If I’m a horse, then you’re an ass!
Miriam "Midge" Maisel: They act like they’ve never seen a Jewish mother before.
Ethan Maisel: Well, it’s Israel, Mama, helicopters suddenly appearing in the sky make people very nervous.
Miriam "Midge" Maisel: Does anyone really read corrections?
Abe Weissman: Of course they do. I start every paper reading the corrections, that’s how you know who the idiots are.
I’m having the best time with my new friends, Whatsisname and Whatsername. They’re from Somewhere, and they came here to celebrate Something.
Shirley Maisel
He said he thought I was very talented and that I could be bigger than Houdini, which is ridiculous. I’m already bigger than Houdini. Houdini was a very tiny man. That’s why he fit so easily in a box.
Alfie
Miriam "Midge" Maisel: I’m not gonna blow it.
Lenny Bruce: I’m going to hold you to that.
Abe Weissman: Nothing sexual happens before 7 in the evening, 6:30 at the earliest. Never at 1:42 in the afternoon on a Monday.
Gabe: I am learning a lot about you today.
I’m tired of people mocking me for thinking about how a dress works in different situations.
Miriam "Midge" Maisel
