Redneck 1: Hey you, let's fight.
Redneck 2: Them's fightin' words!

That's right, I'm down to my wife blesser.

Ned

Oh, fudge. That's...broken. Fiddle dee dee. That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to...kick this dog house down!
Homer goes into a rage.)

</i> Homer

Moe: Pretty much if it moves, you can bet on it.
Homer: What about the Detroit Lions?
Moe: Hey, lay off Detroit. Them people is livin' in Mad Max times.

What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?
[camera pans to Reverend Lovejoy...]

Marge

They don't call me "Springfield Fats" just because I'm morbidly obese!

Homer

I moved here because on a calculator, the ZIP Code spells "boobs."

Moe

Lisa: Congratulations. You're officially a sociopath.
Bart: At least I'm on a path.

If I wanted to pay for commercials I can't skip, I'd sign up for Hulu Plus.

Homer

I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

</i> Nelson

Texan: Look at all them stars How many do you think there are?
Homer: Two.

Ha, Ha! I touched your heart!

</i> Nelson

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Labor Inspector: This plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core!
Mr. Burns: That plane crashed on my property!