Ralph: Mr. Luther King had a dream. Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story had a party, and I went there. Yay, my turn is over.
Principal Skinner: One of your best Ralph.

Patty: I can't believe Aunt Gladys is really gone.
Selma: Her legend will live forever.
Homer's Brain: Yeah. The legend of the dog-faced woman.
Homer: Legend of the dog-faced woman! Oh, that's good!

Marge: A lot of people sound like Sideshow Bob. Like Frasier on Cheers.
Homer: Or Frasier on Fraiser.
Marge: Or Lt. Cmdr. Tom Dodge in Down Periscope.

That school is so great. Teachers teach so much better when they're paid in money and not chickens.

Lisa

Sideshow Bob has no decency, he called me, Chief Piggum! (everybody laughs) Oh ah, now I get it! Haha, that's good!

Chief Wiggum

Ha, Ha! I touched your heart!

</i> Nelson

Selma: What a cheap date.
Moe: I'm not cheap baby. I'm embarrassed to be seen with you. There's a big difference.

Ralph: What's a battle?
Principal Skinner: Hahahaha, lets go.
Superintendent Chalmers: Did that boy say what's a battle?
Principal Skinner: No he said What's that rattle, it's about the heating duct.
Superintendent Chalmers: Hmm, it sounded like battle.
Principal Skinner: I've had a cold, so--
Superintendent Chalmers: Oh so you hear r's as b's?

Ahh, a sand horse, car of the desert.

Homer [referring to a camel]

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.

Why is there a steering wheel in my bedroom?

Otto

Marge: We're too late!
Cobb: I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut. Sorry.

The Simpsons Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

Labor Inspector: This plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core!
Mr. Burns: That plane crashed on my property!