James Bond: (Being dragged away by villain's henchmen) But...but it's Homer's fault! I didn't lose. I never lose! Well, at least tell me the details of your plot for world domination.
Blofeld: Ho ho ho, I'm not going to fall for that one again.

• Permalink: But...but it's Homer's fault! I didn't lose. I never lose! Well,...
• Rating: Unrated

Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem.
Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Maybe I should get some professional help.
Homer: No, no, that's too expensive. Just don't do it anymore.

• Permalink: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem. You kn...
• Rating: Unrated

Mr. Burns: Ah, my beloved plant. How I miss her...Bah! To Hell with this! Get my razors! Draw a bath! Get these Kleenex boxes off my feet!
Smithers: Certainly, sir. And, uh, the jars of urine?
Mr. Burns: Oh, we'll hang onto those.

• Permalink: Ah, my beloved plant. How I miss her...Bah! To Hell with this! G...
• Rating: Unrated

Homer: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the casino and I think you may have a problem.
Marge: I won sixty dollars last night.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Problem solved!

• Permalink: Marge, we need to talk. You're spending too much time at the cas...
• Rating: Unrated

Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. Wow, free beer!

Barney

• Permalink: Man, that's classic compulsive behavior. Wow, free beer!
• Rating: Unrated

Principal Skinner: And here is a special award to the children who obviously didn't have any help from their parents, Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.
Ralph: (With a plastic bag that says "Idaho" on it) I'm Idaho!
Principal Skinner: Sure you are!

• Permalink: And here is a special award to the children who obviously didn't...
• Rating: Unrated

Captain McCallister: I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail 'round the horn and return with spices and silk the likes of which ye have never seen.
Mr. Burns: We're building a casino!
Captain McCallister: Arrr...can you give me five minutes?

• Permalink: I'll need three ships and 50 stout men. We'll sail 'round the ho...
• Rating: Unrated

Gerry: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr. Burns' Casino! If there's anything I can do to make your visit more
enjoyable, please: just let me know.
Otto: Er, great. See ya!
Gerry: Uh, don't forget to apply for our V.I.P. Platinum Club for special discounts on
Otto: Hey! I said, bug off!
(Otto punches him in the jaw, and he collapses)

• Permalink: Hello. I'm retired heavyweight boxer Gerry Cooney. Welcome to Mr...
• Rating: Unrated

Lisa: There's nothing to eat for breakfast.
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa. ClovesTom Collins' mixfrozen pie crust (he just give it a bite) Lets go for mom.

• Permalink: There's nothing to eat for breakfast. You gotta improvise, Lis...
• Rating: Unrated

Wow, just like on TV.
(he trips over an ottoman. A studio audience begins to laugh)

Homer

• Permalink: Wow, just like on TV.
• Rating: Unrated

Homer: Here's a card for you, James Bond.
James Bond: You gave me a Joker?!

• Permalink: Here's a card for you, James Bond. You gave me a Joker?!
• Rating: Unrated

Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
Nelson: Your manager says for you shut up!
Robert Goulet: Vera said that?

• Permalink: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manage...
• Rating: Unrated