The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXFavorite The Simpsons Quotes
I just don't want to be here, Dad. Besides, I started a fire this morning that I really should keep an eye on.
Bart
Lisa, quit getting in the way of your wealthy brother's peas!
Homer
(After watching the clips of the home video)
Bart: Ha ha ha ha. They're going to eat this up at show and tell.
Marge: I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with the idea of your classmates laughing at our family's private moments. How would you like it if 20 years from now people were laughing at things you did?
Bart: Not likely. Come on, have a sense of humor about yourself. (Watches the clip of himself on the toilet saying "I'm a big boy today," then Lisa laughs) Uhhhh I gotta find somethin' else quick.
Milhouse: Bart, look! It's Principal Skinner. And I think he's gone crazy he's not wearing a suit or tie or anything!
Bart: Principal Skinner? Um, I'm real sorry about my dog getting you fired, and biting you, and then getting it on with your leg.
Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, let me get this straight. They let everybody out of school early just because you brought a dog?
Bart: Well, yeah, but--
Homer: Well, I'm off to work. (picks up the dog)
Nelson: The ingredients were: fresh pureed tomatoes, water, salt, and sodium benzoate used to retard spoilage. Once again, if I'm not mistaken, this can contained tomato paste.
Edna: Thank you, Nelson. I look forward to seeing it again next week.
Marge: How would you like it if twenty years from now, people were laughing at things you did?
Bart: Not likely.
Sir, I got carsick in your office.
Ralph
My water dish is empty...
Martin
Bart: (trying to buy a ticket at the Aztec Movie Theater) Look, if I was really under 17 I'd be in school, right?
Ticket seller: Yeah, I guess you are right. Enjoy Boob-a-rama, sir.
Bart: See Lisa, they don't need my help proving Freddy innocent.
Lisa: That's because Mayor Quimby is buying his nephew's freedom.
Bart: The system works.
Marge, it was horrible. Everyone was against me in that jury room. But I stood by the courage of my convictions and I prevailed. And that's why we had Chinese food for lunch.
Homer
