Nelson: (to Washington Post reporter) Haw-haw! Your medium is dying!
Principal Skinner: Nelson!
Nelson: But it is.
Principal Skinner: There's being right and there's being nice.

• Permalink: Haw-haw! Your medium is dying! Nelson! But it is. There's ...
• Rating: Unrated

I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a future where food is brought by "waiters..." where the chairs aren't attached to the tables... and where I can't ditch my kids in a pit of dirty balls.

</i> Homer

• Permalink: I don't know about you, but I don't want to live in a future whe...
• Rating: Unrated

Marge: (gasps as she bursts into Homer's mansion) Oh, my god, you're a junkie!
Homer: (moaning) I need it...
Marge: I'm getting you off this stuff!
Homer: But I need it!
Marge: No, you don't!
(Flash back to the present)
Marge: Unfortunately, as I later learned, that wasn't heroin. It was insulin. Homer really did need those injections.
Homer: I had become diabetic from drinking too many Frappuccinos.

• Permalink: Oh, my god, you're a junkie! I need it... I'm getting you o...
• Rating: Unrated

Marge: Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets.
Homer: Yeah, like which kid's their favorite. (whispering) It's Lisa.

• Permalink: Hey, parents are allowed to keep some secrets. Yeah, like whic...
• Rating: Unrated

(Flashback)
Homer: You know, these Ikea foam futons do velcro together . . .
Marge: I'm sorry, I don't want to do that yet. I want to wait until I'm married, or at least really drunk.

• Permalink: You know, these Ikea foam futons do velcro together . . . I'm ...
• Rating: Unrated

Lisa: Mom! I didn't know you went to college!
Bart: Yeah, you always said that after high school, Dad blessed you with the unplanned miracle of me!

• Permalink: Mom! I didn't know you went to college! Yeah, you always said ...
• Rating: Unrated

(Marge enters Professor Stephan's library.)
Marge: Have you really read all these books?
Professor Stephan: Morally I couldn't display them on my shelves if I hadn't. But I watch sports as well, just like a regular man.
(Professor Stephan turns out the TV to a football game.)
Professor Stephan: Good goddess! The Patriots are deep in Redskin territory. This isn't entertainment, it's genocide! (Sobs)

• Permalink: Have you really read all these books? Morally I couldn't displ...
• Rating: Unrated

(The Simpsons are all huddled up near the fireplace.)
Marge: We wouldn't be in this trouble if you just paid the heating bill!
Homer: I thought global warming would take care of it it. Al Gore can't do anything right.

• Permalink: We wouldn't be in this trouble if you just paid the heating bill...
• Rating: Unrated

I can't believe I got in. It's like a dream come true! An expensive dream. (Sighs)
(Marge looks at letter saying that the annual cost for the college is $3000.)

Marge

• Permalink: I can't believe I got in. It's like a dream come true! An expens...
• Rating: Unrated

Marge: There is a part of our past that we haven't told you kids about. A turbulent part.
Bart: Come on. More turbulent than now?
Lisa: We're in every kind of therapy!
Homer: Things happened between your mother and me that we're not proud of. It was the middle of a wild decade known as the 1990's.
Bart: The '90s? Never heard of it.

• Permalink: There is a part of our past that we haven't told you kids about....
• Rating: Unrated

(narrating) I had finally realized every rock star's dream. Hating being famous.

Homer

• Permalink: I had finally realized every rock star's dream. Hating being fam...
• Rating: Unrated

Marge: Did you know that every U.S. president has been a straight white man?
Homer: Even Walt Disney?

• Permalink: Did you know that every U.S. president has been a straight white...
• Rating: Unrated