Those smart cars are cutting into our business. We used to get uber amounts of work giving people lifts.

Taxi Driver

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Oh God gets your prayers, but he just clicks delete without reading them, like email updates from LinkedIn.

Homer

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I can't believe it, but the church is going to have to ask people for money.

Marge

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But it's not on the calendar? Okay, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow I get to tell everyone why.

Homer

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Relax Marge, if God lets the Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this.

Reverend Lovejoy

• Permalink: Relax Marge, if God lets the Jews have Sunday on a Saturday, he'll be cool with this.
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Lisa: Remember when Apu let dad have the expired hot dog?
Homer: Just once and I'm still taking medication for it.

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Marge: What are we going to do?
Homer: It's not so bad sweety, I took a box of Altoids from her waiting room. The most anyone has ever gotten out of therapy.

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Maude: My bladder's going to burst.
Ned: Now I know you've had a few too many waters, but that is no reason for the sailor talk.

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Lisa: I was pretending, and it worked!
Bart: You know kid, with your smarts and my Barts, we make a good team!
Lisa: What are Barts?
Bart: You're the smart one, you figure it out.

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Bart: I saved you.
Lisa: But you pushed me!
Bart: Duh, I couldn't save you until I pushed you. Girls make no sense.

• Permalink: Duh, I couldn't save you until I pushed you. Girls make no sense.
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Willie: What's that?
Principal Skinner: We didn't want to leave you out of the digital revolution. Willie, meet your new supervisor.
Willie: I have to take orders from a machine?
Principal Skinner: Oh it can't speak, but should it ever learn, yes.

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Principal Skinner: You're not supposed to be able to get outside our network.
Nelson: You shouldn't have made your password, "password".
Principal Skinner: It was the name of the street I grew up on, Password Drive.

• Permalink: It was the name of the street I grew up on, Password Drive.
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