The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Quotes
Bart's usually first in line for taco night, but now he's muy tarde. Is it alright to say tarde?
Marge
Homer: Pressure is how you make your beloved diamonds, Marge.
Marge: I don't have any diamonds.
Homer: Quit pressuring me!
If God needs money, why doesn't he just write another Bible. The first one sold pretty well.
Homer
Lisa: Nobody form any opinions while I'm gone.
Chief Wiggum: Well, hurry! We have no minds of our own.
Marge: Don't you think the parts that aren't evil, are a little...pretentious.
Bart: Absolutely...we're talking about Lisa, right?
Todd: We took the pledge.
Rod: We won't have sex until we're married.
Todd: To each other.
Just tell them that God wants them to ignore everything in their bodies that God is making happen.
Ned
Beware, rabbits. I spy with my transplanted eyes.
Burns
Lisa: How does this mean anything when everyone's forced to do it?
Marge: What did I say about pointing out the meaninglessness of things?
Lisa: Not to.
Simpson, there;s going to be a heart in my hand, either paper or yours.
Nelson
I'm afraid wives don't make passes at husbands who wear those glasses.
Marge
Bart: Homer, Will you take me to buy a comic book Tuesday at midnight?
Homer: And miss the back half of Jimmy Kimmel? That's when he experiments, boy.
