Lou: No sign of the Serpent.
Wiggum: It's always work with you.

Woman 1: When will we meet the count?
Woman 2: Do you think he'll like us?
Man: I've heard rumors he's mysterious.

Marge: Revenge never solves anything!
Homer: (sarcastically) Then what's America doing in Iraq?

Bart: (Crashes through window) Party's over, Serpent.
Wiggum: No kidding, you're standing in the dip.

(after Lisa's story) Wow! That had what I really like in a story - an ending!

Homer

Now we have three ways to talk about revenge, although the first two were sort of the same, and even the third would have worked better as a Halloween Story.

Bart

Snake: Hand over your wallet.
Homer: You don't frighten me!
(Snake shoots Homer)
Homer: Or my wife!
(Snake shoots Marge)
Homer: Or my--
Marge: Shut up!

Texan: Look at all them stars How many do you think there are?
Homer: Two.

I hate this Homer jerk with his beautiful wife and loving family, when all I got is this doorway.

Moe

Judge: I sentence you to life.
Homer: You moron, I'm already alive.
Judge: In prison!

Lenny: (to Homer) Now get some sleep, you have a 9 AM rat helmet.
Homer: 9 AM!?

(to Martin) You are so dead that you're alive.

Dolph

The Simpsons Season 18 Quotes

I demand entertainment!

Sideshow Mel

Krusty: Kids, it's finally happening: your own primetime special. The songs will be written by Broadway's greatest composer: this guy. What's your name again, Fuzzface?
Stephen Sondheim: Stephen Sondheim. I know you hear this all the time, but I think you're great.
Krusty: And I'm sure you hear this all the time: you cost an arm and a leg, so let's get to work.
Stephen Sondheim: Here's the opening number.
Krusty: (taking the sheets) Complex harmoniesintricate lyricspithy observations on modern life. What is this junk? Where's the zazz? Just do what you did in "Cats."
Stephen Sondheim: I didn't write "Cats."
Krusty: You didn't?!