The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXThe Simpsons Season 4 Quotes
Marge: Homer, I want you to encourage Lisa with her science fair project.
Homer: Yes, syrup is better than jelly.
Chief Wiggum: Mrs. Simpson, I have some bad news; your husband was found DOA.
Marge: Oh my God! He's dead?!
Chief Wiggum: Oh, wait, I mean DWI. I always get those two mixed up.
Mrs. Phillips: My name's Mrs. Phillips. You said my husband's DWI?
Chief Wiggum: Um, why don't you talk to that officer over there? I'm going out to lunch.
Over, under, in and out, that's what shoe tying is all about.
Principal Skinner
My name is Otto; I love to get blotto.
Otto
Moe: C'mon, Homer, do it for your old pal Moesy.
Barney: But Moe, yesterday you called Homer a worthless sack of --
Moe: Pipe down, rub-a-dub!
When I was 17,
Homer
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer,
I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen, when I was 17.
Homer: All right, starting tomorrow no beer for a month.
(Marge turns off the light and Homer opens a can, audibly)
Marge: What was that noise?
Homer: I was saying, "Psssst, I love you."
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer
Lisa: I've grown a futuristic tomato by fertilizing it with anabolic steroids.
Bart: The kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence?
Lisa: The very same.
Well, Edna, for a school with no Asian kids, I think we put on a pretty darn good science fair.
Principal Skinner
Moe: You'll be back!!! And you, And you (to Barney). And you.
Barney: Of course I'll be back, if you didn't close I'd never leave!
Marge: Homey, I'd like you to do something for me.
Homer: You name it.
Marge: I want you to give up beer for a month.
Homer: You got it. No deer for a month.
Marge: Did you say beer, or deer?
Homer: .... Deer.
