Marge: Your teenage son or daughter will think this wishbone necklace is really cool.
Man: I doubt my son or daughter is that stupid.

Bart: Oh boy! Free trading cards!
Milhouse: Wow! Joseph of Arimathea! 26 conversions in A.D. 46.
Nelson: Whoa, a Methuselah rookie card!
Flanders: (chuckles) Well boys, who'd have thought learning about religion could be fun?
Bart: Religion?
Milhouse: Learning?
Nelson: Let's get out of here!

Homer: We were about to learn an iron law of show business; what goes up must come down.
Lisa: What about Bob Hope? He's been consistently popular for over fifty years.
Bart: So's Sinatra.
Homer: Well, anyway, we were all getting tired of...
Lisa: Dean Martin still packs 'em in.
Bart: Ditto Tom Jones.
Homer: Shut up!

George Harrison: Hello, Homer! I'm George Harrison.
Homer: (incredulous) Oh my God. Oh my God! Where did you get that brownie?
George Harrison: Over there. There's a big pile of them.
Homer: (Laughs crazily, then devours a whole bunch, then satisfied) Oh, ma-an...(devours more)
George Harrison: Well, what a nice fellow

Homer: We'd like to dedicate this next song to a very special lady. She's over a hundred years old and weighs 200...tons.
Hysterical Man: This gigantic woman will devour us all! (He jumps overboard)
Homer: (pointing to the Statue of Liberty) I was talking about the statue.

The aeroplanes printed upside down.

Homer

Stratawhovious?

Homer

Hello, Human Fly here! Come on, I spent all night dying my underwear.

Human Fly

Bart: Thanks to television, I can't remember what happened eight minutes ago.
(Homer, Marge, and Lisa laugh)
Bart: No, Really I can't. It's a serious problem.
(Homer, Marge, and Lisa laugh,
Bart starts to laugh)

Bart: What are we all laughing about?

Bart: Barbershop? That ain't been popular since aught-six, dagnabbit.
Homer: Bart, what did I tell you?
Bart: No talking like a grizzled 1890's prospector, consarn it.

Baby on board, something something Burt Ward...this thing writes itself.

Homer

Groundskeeper Willie:(Singing) When you're alone, and life is getting you lonely, ye can always go, ACK! Doontoon.
Apu: Next

The Simpsons Season 5 Quotes

Homer: (Wearing glasses) The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side!
Man: (From inside a bathroom stall.) That's a right triangle, you idiot!
Homer: D'oh!

You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.

Grampa